Coercion
by mrschultz
Summary: College AU. Loki is dealing and taking drugs, and Tony and his friends can't watch him spiral downwards anymore. After a major intervention, they discover that maybe Loki wasn't acting entirely of his own free will. Eventual Tony/Loki. M for language, maybe smut later (?)
1. Chapter 1

Hi! This is my first attempt at writing a fic (for someone else to read), and I have no idea what's going on. :) any comments, suggestions, criticisms, etc. are appreciated, but please be constructive! And thanks in advance for reading my story!

Let the angst begin...

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Tony paced restlessly across the room muttering to himself as much as Bruce, while Natasha's eye followed him, with an annoyed look on her face. Bruce just sat calmly on the bed, while Thor and Steve were quietly going over what Thor was going to say, because Steve wanted to make sure he got it right, the first time. Clint sat reclined in a chair with his sunglasses on, trying to hide the fact that he was asleep. He was only here for moral support, not to actually do anything, anyway. The tension in the air was palpable, and only too soon it was broken by the sound of a key in the lock. It wasn't a very big room, so as soon as Loki had the door open a crack, he stopped, realizing that all of his 'friends' (if he could really call them that anymore) were in his dorm, waiting for him. His first thought was how they all got in there, but before he could even decide to ask it, he was turning away and walking, not running, down the hall. He was not running away. Steve placed a hand on Thor's chest to stop him from going after him.

"No, Thor. I think Clint should go after him. We want him to come back and listen, not just run further away." He stated. Clint looked up, surprised.

"What about me? You don't think he'll listen to his best friend?" Tony asked.

"No, I don't" Steve replied. "He's heard it all from both of you before. He knows what you have to say. Clint might be able to convince him because Loki hasn't heard it all from him before. We need to convince him that this is important, that it's different this time." He explained.

They all turned to look at Clint expectantly.

"Why should I?" Clint whined, not wanting to move from his comfortable chair, "he clearly doesn't want-" his chair suddenly jolted underneath him as Natasha kicked it. She gave him one of her serious business looks, a dangerous one, and he stood and left the room without further argument.

The tension returned, and Tony resumed his pacing. Thor stared at the door with a look of hopelessness on his face. He really wasn't helping Tony's mood. Tony needed to believe that this would work, that Loki would listen this time. He had failed to many times before to get through to Loki, and Tony would not let his best friend down, again. A few agonizing minutes later, Clint strolled back in the room, with a very pissed-looking Loki in tow. They both threw themselves into the only chairs in the room, while everyone else stood, facing Loki.

"Thanks, Clint. And thanks for coming back Loki," Steve started, "we all have things that we would like to say, so if you'll at least listen, we would really appreciate it."

"Whatever, can we just get this over with so I can have my room back?" Loki said petulantly. Steve nodded, and turned to Natasha. Loki raised his eyebrows, he really wasn't expecting her to even be here, much less have a speech for him.

"This is going to be short, Loki. You are a selfish bastard, and I'm sick of watching my closest friends worry about you all the time. We all care about you, and if you can't stop wallowing in self-pity long enough to see that, then you are going to lose everything. You may not care, but I do. You're better than this, Loki, and I expect better from you." She finished and sat down on the floor next to Clint's chair, and huffed out a sigh. It was unlike her to show emotion, and the fact that she looked upset at all was surprising. Loki was caught off-guard. Next was Steve's turn. Loki rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, bracing for a lecture on decency and common sense.

"Loki, I know I've tried to tell you this before, so this will be the last time. I like you. You're smart, and passionate, and have a gift for pranks. You may not be my favorite person, and we don't often get along, but you are an important part of this group-" Loki snorted. "You are," Steve continued "and we all need you to change. Your behavior has gotten so much worse, and it's not fair for us to call you your friends and let you do this. Basically, we're calling an ultimatum. Either you change, or we'll let you have what you've been asking for, and get out of your life completely. All of us." He said, turning to Thor with a serious expression. Loki didn't believe him. They might be using new (and more) words than before, but he didn't really believe that any of them knew what they were asking. But before he could form a retort, Thor started, talking so rushed that Loki barely caught the words.

"You're my brother, and always will be, whether or not you want to be, but I can't say that we will always be friends, if you don't get help. I'm not strong enough to watch you do this to yourself anymore, and we are all giving you one last chance." He paused for breath, "Please brother, I-" he stopped, and looked at the ground. Tony, who had been fidgeting impatiently until that moment, cleared his throat loudly. He waited for Loki to look at him. Loki seemed unwilling, so he stared at his feet instead. Tony sighed and said his name,

"Loki," letting his pain and sadness at the thought of losing his friend, his best friend, show through his voice. Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened his mouth.

"Tony, I really don't need this from you, again." He said flatly, trying to sound more annoyed and less angry than he actually was. He couldn't believe that they were actually trying this again. It was definitely a more formal intervention than the last time, but still. He would never admit to any of them that Tony was the only one he couldn't bear to lose. He had been trying so hard to shut Tony out of his life, just let him go, but Tony was even more stubborn than Loki. So no, he just really didn't need to hear what Tony had to say this time. Loki was sure he had already said it in every way humanly possible. Tony just cleared his throat again, and waited until Loki looked at him before he gave his well prepared speech.

"You're a fucking idiot." He started, which grabbed everyone's attention, but Loki didn't even flinch. It wasn't even an original insult, coming from the king of one-liners. "I need you, and I have been trying so hard to make you see that. I've done just about everything I can think of, short of kidnapping you and holding you hostage until you see that. So, basically, for my sanity's sake (which I know, it's questionable in the first place), if you don't at least try, I give up. I'm going to give you one month to change, and I mean dramatically. If you try, like really try, I will do everything in my power to help you. I may not have really been there for you sometimes, but I swear to every fucking god there ever was that if you ask for my help, and really mean it, I will not let you down this time." He paused, to gather his resolve for the next part of the speech. "But if you decide that you're really sure you're done with this friendship, with me, I will leave. I will book tickets to the other side of the fucking planet to get away from you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you are absolutely fucking positive that you don't even want me around, I will try my hardest to let you go. And that may sound gay as shit, but I really mean it. Because I can't do it any more, Loki. I just- can't." He finished, his voice breaking on the last word. He really meant to say more than that, to impress on Loki the finality of his words, but he suddenly felt exhausted, as if finally saying it out loud just sapped the energy from him. He sat on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands, willing himself not to cry in front of his friends.

Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder, and Bruce shifted to put an arm around his shoulders. None of it helped him relax, of course, because what he wanted was for Loki to be comforting him. He needed Loki to tell him that he cared enough about himself to actually try and quit killing himself. But Tony Stark was a proud asshole, and he wasn't going to beg. He was showing enough weakness as it was. He grimaced, realizing how pathetic he felt, and grit his teeth to look up and into Loki's eyes. He was expecting a glare, but what he saw in there was sadness. Loki looked incredibly sad. And he was looking only at Tony, almost pleadingly. Clint shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling that this was no longer a group moment. He wanted to go, but he knew Natasha would kill him if he left before Steve 'officially concluded' this meeting, or whatever he was calling it. He tried to sit still, and waited for the next part.

Bruce turned from Tony to Loki and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"So, I guess you know what we're asking you to do, but this time we want you to understand what we're offering to do for you. Tony pulled some strings and got you a spot at the swankiest rehab in the area. It's nearby, and Natasha volunteered her car so that someone can come visit you everyday if you want. Of course, it's not imprisonment and you can leave at any time, but know that we have all agreed to stick together on this. If you leave before you complete the program, or refuse to go at all, we will leave you alone. We won't call you, visit you, or even wave at you in public. Loki, we all care about you, yes, all of us," he assured, as he saw Loki's posture tense in his seat, "and this bullshit has gone far enough. We're done. So now it's up to you. Now you tell us what you want." He finished, spreading his hands in an inviting gesture.

The strong language was unusual from Bruce, and it caught Loki off guard. Now they were all staring at him, waiting for him to say something. He wished everyone would just leave and stop asking him to do things. He got enough of that from his other group of acquaintances. He raised a hand to his forehead, trying to think through the headache that was forming. He really hadn't been expecting them to try this so soon after the first, failed intervention, and today had been a long enough day already. He wasn't sure how serious they were this time, but was it worth the risk to turn them down again?


	2. Chapter 2

Hello anyone reading this! First, a little flashback to better days, then the conclusion of the intervention. A little more drama, a lot more angst. Reviews = happy me, please? Thanks again for reading!

~Flashback; six months previous~

The group of friends sat crowded around the small table at the coffee shop, doing their best to hide their cards from each other. They originally came to the café to study, but finding the Apples to Apples game on the book shelf in the corner was just too tempting, so they had been playing for the last 45 minutes. Loki and Tony were in the lead by quite a bit, because whenever either of them was the judge, they would always select the other's card as the winner. Clint was beginning to suspect foul play. After a particularly hotly debated round, in which the science majors (Tony, Bruce, and Loki) were the only ones that understood the reference to Marie Curie, Clint decided he had had enough.

"That's it! You guys aren't even playing fair!" He almost shouted, a little too loud for the quiet café they were sitting in. "It's like you two are just picking each other's cards on purpose! You can't possibly have that many inside jokes, you're cheating!" A few patrons gave them dirty looks for interrupting their coffee chatting.

"How, exactly, are we doing that?" questioned Loki, a little too calmly. He would be the first to admit that he enjoyed irritating people, and with Clint it was just a little too easy. Everyone else settled back to watch the exchange, knowing one of them would eventually give up. This time, however, Loki's quips were a little sharper than usual, and Clint's retorts were a little angrier than usual. Before long, they were both standing and all the other people in the building were staring. By the time they escalated to actually shouting at each other, Steve noticed the barista coming towards them, probably to ask them to leave. Steve looked at Tony, worried. Tony rolled his eyes, Steve was always overreacting to things like this.

"Alright guys, time to go!" Tony said loudly, pulling Clint towards the door. "You two lovers can finish your quarrel outside." Both Loki and Clint glared at Tony for that. They all stopped just outside the door, but the barista had followed them outside, and crossed his arms as he gave them a very stern look.

"Look buddy, I know you think we are awesome and all, which we are, but we didn't invite you to hang out with us, sorry." Tony said without hesitation. The barista was not amused, and he didn't change his expression. Tony looked to his friends, and shrugged. "Well, I guess somebody doesn't know how to take a rejection." He sighed dramatically and turned to walk away. By the time they got a block away from the coffee shop, and the barista had walked back inside after making sure they really left, they all burst into fits of laughter.

"That was ridiculous!" Said Bruce. "I've never even heard of someone getting kicked out of a coffee shop before! You guys realize we just got thrown out for playing a board game too intensely. I just can't believe that happened." He said, exasperated. Tony looked smug, knowing that this incident would only add to his reputation for trouble making, and he cultivated that reputation very carefully. Even Steve cracked a smile, and he was usually Mr. Goody Two-Shoes.

That was the last time they were all happy together.

~Present~

Loki sighed loudly, and looked up at the group around him. They all looked so serious, he almost started laughing at how changed they all were. It was like this was happening to them. But it wasn't. This was his problem, his to deal with, but they just couldn't leave him alone. It was annoying, really. If they had just let it go and left him on his own, they wouldn't be in this mess and he could just give up and hit rock bottom already. As it was, they kept trying to 'rescue' him, or something. All they were really doing was getting in the way.

"This really isn't necessary." He said, mostly to break the silence. No one moved. "I realize you guys feel guilty, or whatever, but this is my problem, and I take full responsibility for it. You don't have to do any of this." Tony's jaw dropped open.

"You think we're doing this because we feel _guilty_?" he asked. "Really? Loki, we really do care about you! We really miss you and want you to get back to your old self, the Loki that knew how to have fun, and didn't spend every second of every day high or trying to get there. Do you even know how different you are? It's like your not even the same person. I can't stand being around you, because when I am, it just makes me miss you even more. It's like you've been replaced, and they forgot to program emotions into your clone or something!" Tony always slipped into the world of science fiction when he didn't know how to explain something. He really hadn't meant to pour his emotions out in front of the group, but he figured he might as well keep going, now that he had started. "Look, I don't know what made you want to become this hollow shell of a person, but I don't care. Whatever it is, just forget it, I will do anything, _anything_, to get you back. Fuck, Loki. I need you, I just need my best friend back, and if you won't even try, then I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You think guilt is going to make me change my mind?" Loki asked skeptically.

"Not really, but nothing else has worked." Tony replied.

"Well had it ever occurred to you that maybe I didn't actually want to become this way? Maybe I did it for some other reason than just because I felt like it?" Loki was getting angry, despite his hopelessness at his situation. He was sick of being stuck, and sick of everyone expecting him to fix it. He knew it was impossible, but he really needed them to understand that he was beyond their help. "You may be stupid, but I think you can at least understand this much. This, me, the way I am now, is not how I wanted to be. I'm not happier, and I sure as hell don't want to be like this." Tony blinked in surprise.

"So don't be like this?" he said, making it sound like a question. Loki rolled his eyes.

"It's not that simple, you idiot! I can't just stop doing it. He won't let me-" Loki stopped, realizing he had said too much. "Get out. We're done."

"No." Tony fired back. "We're not done. Guys, I want to talk to Loki alone." Everyone else left the room, and Tony closed the door behind them, before turning to Loki. "It's now or never Loki. Tell me what is going on, or I'm going to use my not insignificant resources to figure it out." He paused, hoping Loki would just give in and tell him. Loki gazed down at his hands in his lap. "Look, Lokes, I don't know what's going on, and I haven't known for a while. I guess that's my fault. I've been a pretty shitty friend. I know that now, I got a little carried away with the parties and the drinking, and I wasn't there for you. But dammit, I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. I meant it Loki, I will do anything for you. If you want me to drop out of school, move to another country with you and start a new life as poncho weavers, I will do it." He joked, trying to lighten the mood. Loki continued to stare at his hands, but his resolve was beginning to fade. He thought, just maybe, that there might be a way out of this. Loki looked up into Tony's eyes, searching for sincerity.

"It's not that easy, Tony. I'm in really deep. And if I get you involved, and something happens to you, I could never forgive myself."

"Loki, I know how you feel. Because I let something happen to you, and I don't even know what it was, but if I don't fix this, I will never be able to forgive myself. Please, let me try. I'm actually begging, here." Loki huffed in amusement. Tony Stark, begging. That was an image to remember.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough." Loki looked up to the ceiling as his eyes started to water. He hated showing weakness like this. Someone might realize how fragile he actually was.

"Loki, you're stronger than you act." Tony lifted a hand to place it on Loki's shoulder, but Loki flinched away. As he pulled away, Tony noticed the bruises that were just underneath the collar of his jacket. "What the hell are those? Those are definitely not love bites." Loki froze. He really didn't want to have to tell Tony about those. Thankfully, Tony seemed to sense his fear. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything right now, just promise me that you'll tell me what I need to know to help you out. We'll get you out of this, whatever it is, I promise." Loki sighed in defeat.

"I'm just really tired. Of all of it." He said, closing his eyes and let a few tears fall. "Tony, I don't know if I can do it, even with your help." Tony just shook his head, his overconfidence always there.

"Bah. Anything is possible with the Stark name to open doors with!" Loki laughed despite himself. It may only have been a brief respite from his problems, but it felt nice to talk with Tony the way they used to.

After Tony texted Steve to let him know that Loki was going to try, the two of them decided that was enough heavy for one night, and decided to watch a movie. As soon as they got comfortable, the exhaustion of all that emotional turmoil set in, and they fell asleep lying side by side on Loki's floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Another short chapter. Bonus: Drunken Make-out session! And more angst, as always. Looking for reviews of any kind - I'm open to suggestions for what you want to read!

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A few days after the intervention, everything seemed to be getting better. Tony was spending as much time as possible at the recovery center with Loki, and the others would come every other day or so. Thor, at Loki's request, was only allowed to visit once a week, for an hour at a time. It seems that being sober was not helping him develop any patience for dealing with his adopted brother. Tony, of course, found Thor's over-enthusiasm and genuine sincerity equally annoying, so he was on Loki's side. Despite Tony's efforts to spend all the time he physically could at the recovery center, he was still only able to be there during visiting hours, and even then Loki insisted that Tony continue to go to class. In addition to keeping up with his own work, Loki was requiring Tony to pick up the work from Loki's professors, so he could catch up instead of having wasted the entire semester in recovery. He was already behind in his classes after the first six weeks, and he had barely passed them the previous semester, thanks to his drug addiction.

Tony was ecstatic that Loki was working so hard to get back into his old life, he really was, but he couldn't forget Loki's words from the night of the intervention, 'he won't just let me', Loki had said, when trying to explain why he couldn't just 'get clean' whenever he wanted. Tony didn't want to push his luck, he wanted Loki to trust him, and so he was trying not to ask Loki about it. He was choosing instead to focus on Loki's recovery, and do everything he could to aid that process, and he would deal with everything else later.

Loki hadn't missed Tony's lack of interest in that topic. He was angry at himself for almost bringing someone else into the danger he was in, and he was grateful that Tony hadn't pushed the subject. As long as Tony didn't ask, Loki wouldn't have to feel guilty for not telling him. And for a week, it all went well. Loki's contacts hadn't bothered him, and Tony was just satisfied with Loki being part of his life again. But it couldn't last, and Loki knew it. He should have just cut off all contact from his friends, that then they would be safe. But part of Loki's mind, the quieter, less paranoid part, told him he was being over dramatic, that there was another way out of this. And after six months of loneliness and isolation, six months of missing his friends, and spending all his time worrying, it felt nice to relax. He was enjoying the time with Tony, even if it meant dealing with excessive amounts of homework and withdrawal symptoms.

He also had something else to wonder about, besides.

~Flashback; One Week Earlier~

The weekend just before the fateful intervention, Tony and Loki had found themselves at the same party. It wasn't that unusual to find Tony at a party, any time there was booze you would almost inevitably see him. Loki, however, generally tried to avoid these kinds of gatherings. His 'employer', however, had pressured him into going to perform some business interactions. Instead of leaving immediately, which is what he should have done, he decided to stay and try enjoying himself. With a little help from some of his own supply of illegal substances, he put himself into a 'partying' sort of mind. After a while, he had tired of dancing and flirting with strangers, and he found himself some space on a couch, to sit and observe for a while. Suddenly, he was aware of a weight next to him on the couch. He turned to see who it was, and once the dizziness passed, he saw a very drunk Tony smiling at him.

"Look who finally came out of his dungeon!" Tony said, shouting over the music. "I haven't seen you around lately, how's things?"

"I imagine it's hard to see anything when you're constantly drunk." Loki said, attempting to sound hateful, but the drugs were making his tongue a little slower than usual.

"Oh, I forgot how funny you are! Seriously though, it's good to see you out and about, Lokes." Tony said, leaning closer so he didn't have to shout. Loki leaned in too, so his mouth was at Tony's ear.

"Leave. Me. Alone." Loki replied, in a dangerous voice. But Tony was too far gone to hear the threat.

"Sorry, I don't take rejection well, ask anyone. I also am known for my skills of persuasion." Tony said with a wink.

"I'm sorry, are you hitting on me? Surely there is someone else at this party who would come much more willingly. I have no interest in pursuing any kind of relationship with you, physical or otherwise."

"Okay, that was a very long string of multi-syllable words. If you're not careful, I might just have to find some way to shut you up." Tony smirked, and Loki scoffed.

"I hardly think that will be necessary. I'm becoming bored with this conversation, anyway." Loki looked away, deciding which would be the fastest escape route, in his less-than-sober state.

"Me too." Loki looked at him in surprise. Their faces were still very close together, so before Loki could react, Tony had pressed his lips to Loki's. He quickly reached a hand up to wrap around Loki's neck to hold him there. Tony had wanted to kiss Loki for so long, and he didn't want it to be over that quickly. Loki was just buzzed enough that instead of thinking about whom he was kissing, and who may be watching, he just relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy the sensation. He knew Tony would be a good kisser. Not that he had thought about it, at all. He would never want to be just another notch in Tony's bedpost, after all. It was because of Tony's reputation that he had settled for becoming just friends in the first place, and now Loki's extra curricular activities made it too dangerous, regardless. But those were not the thoughts running through his mind as he felt Tony's tongue run across his lip. He placed a hand on Tony's hip to pull them closer together. Soon, Tony was straddling Loki's lap with both his hands in the long, dark strands of hair. Loki was running his hands slowly from The shorter man's hips up to his shoulders, leaving nail marks through the faded t-shirt. Tony moaned into Loki's mouth, bringing both men back to reality through their hormone-addled haze.

"Oh, shit." Said Loki, staring at Tony in horror. "We can't do this, I can't do this, it's not safe." Loki started to panic. Before Tony could gather his thoughts enough to ask why, Loki had shoved him off onto the couch and was running towards the door. Tony knew he should run after him, but his legs were not even coordinated enough to stand from the couch, so he just closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face. 'We have got to do that again.' He thought to himself. It was that night when he resolved to do anything necessary to help Loki out of his situation, whatever it was. He had to.

Loki wasn't even sure Tony remembered that night, they had both been pretty plastered. He didn't want to approach Tony about it, in case Tony regretted it. Loki wanted to regret it, but he couldn't deny his true feelings for Tony any more. They had been friends since Loki's freshman year, when Tony had been roommates with Loki's older brother Thor. Thor, being the supportive older brother had constantly invited Loki over to his room to hang out, and Loki only accepted the invites because of Thor's attractive roommate. It just so happened that Tony and Loki also shared an intelligence and a sense of humor that made it far too much fun to mock Thor. Thor didn't mind, he was just happy that the two of them seemed to be getting along. The only thing that bothered him was how often their harmless chatter seemed to devolve into flirting or innuendos. But Loki never let it go any further than talk, because although he was attracted to Tony, and he was pretty sure Tony was attracted to him, he was opposed to Tony's constant string of new flings. He didn't want to risk their friendship over something that would probably be over so quickly.

Then there had been the intervention.

In the days since, Loki had resisted the temptation to ask Tony about it. Their friendship seemed to be back to normal, back to the way it was before Loki had even gotten involved with drugs. While Loki had missed Tony's friendship, his memory of that kiss brought new tension to their chemistry, and he knew it couldn't last. Just like he knew his freedom from his 'employer' couldn't last. It was just a brief vacation from reality, and it would come to a crashing end. He didn't mind, really. His life had been becoming less and less worth living in the last few months. Loki was just trying to enjoy his last few weeks as a free man, until his employer decided to take his revenge on Loki for trying to leave. It was inevitable, and the man's wrath was unavoidable. Loki had been punished by him before, but he had never purposely disobeyed him since he had really started working for him. He wasn't sure he would survive this time.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello, all! Thank you so much for the reviews I've gotten! It's not much, but look! It's motivated me to write the longest chapter yet, so imagine what would happen if I got even more. I hope you're all enjoying this as much as I am. If not, please feel free to put any suggestions or ideas in a review, I would love to hear them. Thank you again for reading. You are stunning, darlings.

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Loki sat on a couch in the rehab center's common room, trying to get through a chapter in his stunningly dull art history book. He kept getting distracted by a pair of brown eyes staring at him from the other end of the couch. Tony was holding an unopened physics book in his lap, but had long since given up the pretense of studying. He sighed loudly.

"What is it, dear?" Loki asked in a heavily sarcastic tone.

"How am I supposed to focus when you're sitting over there being all distracting, beautiful?" Loki finally looked up from his reading.

"And how could I possibly be distracting you, when I am only reading? In fact, your staring was distracting me from my studies, so I believe you are the one at fault."

"Well, it's hardly the point whose fault it is. The point, darling, is that we are both now distracted." Loki closed his book and set it on the table in front of him, turning to face Tony.

"So what shall we do, then?" Loki asked. "Have you any ideas?"

"Only about 50 of them, but none that are appropriate for a common room." Tony said with a smirk. Loki only rolled his eyes and went to pick up his book again.

"If you're only going to make innuendos, I suggest you find someone else to bother." Tony reached for Loki's arm before he could grab his book.

"Actually, there is something I've been wanting to talk to you about." Tony said, in a serious tone. Loki froze. He had really hoped they could just gloss over that little inebriated incident, but he should have known that Tony wouldn't let it go. His ego was too big to just ignore a rejection. "That night at the party, I hope you don't think I was just acting out of drunkenness. I, well I feel guilty. I didn't mean to scare you away, but I did mean to kiss you. I don't know if you understand me, I don't know what I'm trying to say, actually. It's just, you're important to me, Loki, and I don't want to lose you." His words were falling out of his mouth at a faster rate than usual. He paused, and turned away from Loki. "I can't lose you, not now. And if they only way you want me is as a friend, I can handle it. I'll have to. But I need to know how you feel, so yeah, that's what's going on with me. What's up with you?" He tried to finish in a light-hearted tone.

Tony looked at Loki with a lost look on his face. Tony wasn't known for his emotional attachments to people, and he certainly never discussed something like his feelings, even with his best friend. For the year that they had been friends (before Loki's illegal activities), Tony had barely told Loki anything private. Loki was the same. For all the time they had spent together, they barely discussed anything more personal than their taste in music. They knew enough that they both had family issues, and neither of them wanted to talk about it, ever. So Tony telling Loki these things was totally unexpected, and Loki had no idea how to react. For once, Loki was left speechless.

As the silence dragged on, Tony started fidgeting uncomfortably. Loki just sat there staring at him, and Tony felt a blush creeping over his cheeks. He turned away, trying to brace himself for Loki to reject him, or shut him out. Whatever it was, it was going to hurt. He was just starting to regret saying anything when Loki finally cleared his throat to speak. Tony turned back towards Loki to show that he was listening, but could bring himself to make eye contact with Loki.

Loki was desperately trying to sort through his thoughts. He wanted to be more than friends with Tony, he always had, but Tony's personality was not conducive to serious relationships. On top of that, now that Tony had finally decided to act on their natural chemistry was at the worst possible moment. Right after Loki had basically signed his own death warrant? Great timing, Tony. Loki cleared his throat, and waited to make sure Tony was listening before he spoke.

"I'm not sure…what you want from me, Tony. I will always be your friend. You know that. But what else can there be? You've always had relationships, I just assumed…I don't know what I thought. But that night at the party was just a kiss. You were drunk, I was high, it happened. It doesn't have to change anything." Loki said, desperately hoping Tony would just let it go, or turn out to be joking.

"Loki, I haven't had any relationships since I met you. I mean, sure I've slept with some guys, but come on, this is college after all. Lokes, I want to be with you. All I'm asking you to do is tell me if you feel the same way."

"Tony, I can't do this right now." Loki was becoming angry with Tony's stubbornness. "Go home. I want to be alone." Tony stared at him for a moment in disbelief.

"You really want me to leave, right now?" Tony said, trying not to let the hurt show in his voice.

"Yes, I think you should go." Loki wasn't even looking at Tony, he was gathering his books and putting them back in his bag. Tony decided it might be best to leave him for now. But tomorrow when he came to visit, he was determined to finish this conversation. He gathered his things and left without saying anything.

Later that night, Tony lay in his bed trying to sleep. His mind was on panic mode. Tony tried to convince himself that Loki just needed time to think, that his reaction was just surprise. It didn't work. He hated himself for letting someone else make him feel this way. This is why he never liked to talk about feelings, it always left him feeling empty and he always regretted it. Giving up on sleep, he rolled out of bed to go find a bottle of alcohol. He always had several stashed around his room, for when he needed a sleep aid. Tonight was definitely one of those nights.

Loki couldn't sleep either. Six months ago, if Tony had said those things, he would have been ecstatic. But six months ago Tony had not shown even the slightest interest in being more than friends. Loki wondered what had changed. Maybe Tony had a hero complex, and seeing Loki weak and in need of rescue was what Tony suddenly found attractive. Loki cursed himself for being so weak. He was in this rehab center in the first place because of his own weakness. He found himself thinking back to the night when everything had started to go wrong, trying to remember every mistake he had made. It was all his fault, and if he had just been stronger, he thought, Tony would have seen his worth before it was too late.

~Flashback; Six Months Earlier~

The night after getting ejected from the café, the seven friends had all decided that was enough fun for one night, and they definitely weren't getting any studying done, so they parted ways and returned to their respective dorms. Tony had walked Loki back to his room, jokingly worrying over Loki's safety, when he was really hoping for an invitation _in_. Loki was oblivious to Tony's interest, brushing it off as no more than the usual flirting. When Tony left Loki at his door, he had been disappointed, but intended to continue his pursuit. Loki enjoyed Tony's company, but the flirting had reached a whole new level recently, and Loki was unsure how long he could keep up his disinterest. The sexual tension, in other words, was becoming too much. He sighed and rolled his eyes at his friend's ridiculousness.

He decided to watch a movie in his pajamas, to try and distract his thoughts from Tony before he fell asleep. He was about halfway through "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", when there was a loud knock at his door. He paused the movie and walked over to see who it was. He didn't recognize the tall man he glimpsed through the peephole, so he opened the door a crack.

"Yes?" Loki asked simply, unsure. The man didn't say anything. He simply shoved the door inwards, knocking Loki backwards into the room. The man stepped through the doorway and locked the door behind him. He turned to face Loki. Loki was in shock. He looked around him for some kind of weapon, but his brain was moving sluggishly, and all he could think of was Tony's face. Why would he be thinking of Tony at a moment like this?

The man still hadn't said anything to Loki, but had pulled out his phone, and was making a call. Loki was even more confused. The man said to the voice that answered on the line,

"I found him." A pause. "Yes." Another, shorter pause, and the man held out the phone to Loki. Loki was entirely confused now. Without any idea what else to do, he took the phone and held it to his ear. His hands were shaking, but his voice was steady.

"Yes?" Loki said.

"Well, Loki, you have caught my attention." A smooth, deep voice said on the other end. "Your little performance at the coffee shop this evening was quite entertaining. I would like to offer you a job."

"Well, I would like to decline. Who are you?"

"I think you're asking the wrong questions. Who I am is something you will learn when I am ready for you to. What you should consider is that my associate, the one standing in front of you, has been instructed to bring you to my office, whether or not you come willingly. Please consider your options carefully." There was a beep as the call was ended. Loki was so confused, and slightly overwhelmed. His mind was racing, but nothing seemed to make any sense. What had he done in the coffee shop that would attract attention? What kind of person operates like this? The answers that Loki came up with were not good, and he was starting to worry. He decided the only reasonable thing to do was lie.

"Well, he sounded tired. I think your boss wants you to leave now, maybe come back another time. It seems he's not interested in meeting me tonight." Loki was killing time, trying to make a call with his cell. If he could call someone, he could let them know what was going on, right? He had to try.

"Nope. Give me my phone and yours, and I might not break your arm. Of course, I might just do it for fun anyway." Said the man, stepping in front of Loki and holding out his hand for the phones.

"Well doesn't that just sound lovely." Loki handed the man his phone back, but made no move to pull out his own. He needed to see how serious the danger was before he decided whether running away was an overreaction. The man sighed, obviously annoyed with his lack of cooperation, and stepped into Loki's personal space, reaching for one of Loki's arms. Loki stepped back and tried to step around the man to get out the door. He felt a strong hand grasp his neck and cut off his air before he even took two steps. The man threw Loki back against the wall, and lifted Loki's off his feet. Loki gripped the man's arm with both his hands, but the arm felt like steel, there was no give. His air was rapidly running out, and his rising panic prevented him from thinking logically. The man reached into each of Loki's jeans pockets, and grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone. Once he had placed those things into his own jacket pocket, he let Loki fall to his feet, but kept one hand in a tight grip on Loki's upper arm. He turned and roughly pulled Loki with him to the door, but stopped when his hand touched the door handle.

"We are going to visit my employer. You will come with me, and if you try to do anything stupid, like tell someone you need help, I will snap your neck. He flexed his grip on Loki's arm, hard enough to leave bruises, and Loki nodded. He was really beginning to worry now. How had this happened? Just hours ago he was joking with his friends, and now he was being kidnapped? He felt like he was falling, and there was nothing for him to grab to stop his descent. The man pulled Loki out of the building and across the street to a big black SUV. He all but threw Loki in the back seat before climbing in the passenger seat in the front. He nodded to the driver, and they took off down the street. Loki debated just jumping from the vehicle, but his hands were shaking and he doubted he would be able to get the door open before the man could reach him. He looked up at the driver, and realized the driver was staring at Loki in the rearview mirror. He looked angry.

"What does he want with the kid, anyway? Seems like a lot of trouble, for one little brat."

"I don't know, Chad. Seems to me you don't need to know, either." The first man replied, turning to glare at Loki and flexing his muscles menacingly. Loki swallowed and looked out the window, trying to think of a way out of his situation.

"I'm just curious, geez. I mean he calls me out of a very hot date, which was definitely going to end my way, and has me pick you up and drive you all the way across town to grab some kid, I mean what the fuck? I'm just saying, it's unusual, is all." Chad said to muscles, who looked unimpressed.

"I don't give a fuck what you think, just drive." Muscles replied, clenching his jaw and fists, and looking for all the world like he was going to hit Chad. Loki was feeling more and more uncomfortable as the ride continued. He also realized he had been paying no attention to where they were going, so he was effectively lost. They had left the well-lit area of the city, and were heading into a neighborhood that looked like it had been abandoned. There were no lights on in the street, and one in about every three houses had any light shining through the windows. There were boarded windows and kicked in doors everywhere. Things were looking worse than ever for Loki.

Shortly after they had entered the decrepit neighborhood, Chad pulled off the road in front of a house that had fewer broken windows than the rest, and lights on in more than one room. Other than that, nothing about the place stood out from its surroundings. Loki noticed how dirty all the buildings seemed, like they hadn't been lived in for years. The SUV was the only vehicle on the street. He stumbled as he was pulled out of his seat, and muscles regained his grip on Loki's arm, pulling him towards the house as Chad stayed in the car. Loki's breath caught in his throat as he was pulled towards the house. He felt dread weigh his legs down, and he suddenly started to fight against the man holding him, even though he knew it was a useless struggle. He felt a sharp pain across his cheek the man slapped him, and he stopped struggling. He placed his hand over the sting, and tried to believe it was the pain, not the fear, bringing tears to his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again, my fabulous readers! I love you all so much for bearing with me! Here is a look into how Loki got pulled into the drug trade. I hope it makes sense, it was difficult to write, mostly because I'm not good at writing intimidating characters. Sorry! Hope you can put up with me! Reviews are always appreciated!

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~Flashback; six months earlier, when Loki's problems began~

Loki was pulled by muscles past the man standing guard at the front door into the dilapidated house, and he let his hand fall away from his face to look around him. The inside of the house matched the outside, sparsely populated with broken furniture, and covered in a thick layer of grime. The only lights on were over the stairwell to the right of the entryway, and it was up those stairs that muscles shoved Loki. When he didn't immediately comply, muscles shoved him harder, and Loki stumbled as his shins hit the bottom stair. He caught himself with his hands, but a splinter of wood sticking up from the staircase cut into his palm. He hissed in pain, but muscles didn't notice or care. He just kicked Loki's foot and pointed to the top of the stairs, saying, "move" in a very commanding tone. Loki pressed his now bleeding hand into his shirt to try and stop the blood, and climbed the stairs, careful not to trip on any more wood sticking up.

At the top of the stairs Loki stopped. They emerged into a hallway, leading to the left and right. The hallway was lit, but all the doors on either side were closed, so he wasn't sure which direction to turn. Muscles shouldered past him and led him to the right, down to the door at the end. Muscles rapped his knuckles against the door, and a voice that Loki recognized from the short phone call earlier answered, inviting him in. Muscles opened the door, pushed Loki over the threshold, and pulled it closed, shutting Loki in the room.

Loki looked around the room, to adjust to his surroundings, and also to avoid looking at the hulking figure behind the desk. Since the desk was the only piece of furniture, Loki's gaze drifted to the walls. This room contrasted with the rest of the house. It was clean, well kept, and carefully decorated. The only light came from two lamps on either side of the desk, and the walls were painted a deep red. A large painting in an elaborate frame hung on the wall behind the desk. The desk itself was large and obnoxious, taking up most of the floor space and despite its size, there was nothing on it, aside from a cell phone and a book that the man had just closed. Loki reluctantly looked up to the man seated behind the desk. He was large, with strong, rough looking facial features, and shoulders that seemed too wide. He was wearing a collared shirt and an expensive looking suit jacket. His dark hair was neatly parted and combed back from his face, exaggerating his already massive forehead. He had his hands folded on top of the desk in front of him, and was staring intently at Loki. Altogether, an intimidating situation, Loki summed up to himself. He tried to stop his hands from shaking, but instead settled for crossing his arms in front of him, and directed his gaze at the floor in front of him. He felt afraid, but was trying his best not to show it. He took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever this man was going to threaten him with.

"It's so nice to officially meet you, young man. You are extraordinary, aren't you?" The man asked Loki calmly. Loki continued staring at the floor. "Hm. Seems my men have intimidated you. Well, I suppose that was necessary. I have brought you here to offer you a job."

"Who ARE you?" Loki yelled, looking up at the man. His confusion was becoming overwhelming, and he just really needed to get an answer.

"I'm sorry, how rude of me. My name is Thanos. I will be your employer."

"And if I refuse?"

"That would be unwise." Thanos said as he pulled a gun out of a drawer in the desk, and placed in gently on the desk in front of him. "I really didn't want to have to resort to vulgar threats so early in our conversation, but I suppose if you were cooperating without question, your intelligence would be on par with Ben out there." He said, gesturing towards the door. Loki thought muscles was a more apt name. "So here is my proposition for you."

"No, I want to know why I'm here, first. Why me? What do you want?" Loki interrupted. He didn't know if it was the best plan, but he felt like throwing this man off of his planned speech might buy him some time to think of a way out. Thanos sighed and lifted one of his hands to rub his forehead in exasperation.

"I was just getting to that. If you would let me finish," he paused, waiting for Loki to respond. Loki gestured for him to continue. "I am interested in your skills as a man of persuasion, shall we say. I provide a product that has a very specific target audience. I would like to broaden the number of people that my product can reach." He smiled, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And what 'product' is it that you provide?" Loki asked scathingly. He could pretty much guess at this point, based on the manner in which this interaction had proceeded thus far.

"Well, let's just say a variety of illegal substances." Thanos dismissed him quickly. "What's more important, and more interesting, is how your skills of the tongue could bring my product to entire new populations of people, especially students. In the coffee shop this evening, I witnessed an argument between you and your friend, and your words, the way you use them, was inspiring! I knew immediately how useful you could be. I need you, Loki. I could give you whatever you like, I have extensive resources at my disposal. I would like you to consider your options carefully. You have about ten seconds." He finished, sitting back in his chair and picking the gun up from in front of him. He proceeded to cock it and point it directly at Loki's chest. "Ten". He started the countdown.

Loki's chest tightened as his breath left him in a panicked huff. He looked at the room around him in panic, but realized that there wasn't even a choice. He could die here, or accept and get help with his predicament later.

"Oh, I should mention that if you are thinking of accepting my agreement and backstabbing me later, that I will then proceed to hunt down your friends, starting with that obnoxious boy, what's his name? Stark." Thanos said with a snarl, tightening his grip on the gun and continuing to count. Loki swallowed and closed his eyes, wishing to be anywhere else.

"Fine! Yes, I'll do it! Please, just stop pointing that gun at me, for fuck's sake!" Loki said in a rush, hoping that his language wouldn't cause Thanos to pull the trigger in retort.

"Great!" Thanos responded, putting the gun back in the drawer and pulling out a shoebox and some papers. "Now we just have to take care of the paper work, and then Chad and Ben will take you home." He clapped his hands and rubbed them together, then produced a pen from his jacket. "It's nothing unusual, I just need to go over the details of our agreement. A normal contract at the start of a new job." Loki stepped up to the desk, wanting to get this over with quickly. He suddenly felt achingly tired, and he just couldn't process how much danger he was really in right now. Thanos started flipping through the pages in front of him, pointing out the stuff that he thought was relevant. Loki just nodded, shock setting in and keeping him from hearing anything. He signed when Thanos handed him the pen, but his hand was shaking enough his signature was unrecognizable.

After about ten minutes of Loki numbly pretending to listen, Thanos sighed and dismissed him, sending him out to Ben in the hallway. Loki stepped through the door, but was called back by Thanos.

"Ah ah ah! Almost forgot your product! This is your starter kit, there's a little bit of all the basics, along with pricing guidelines and some tips to help you get started." He held out the shoebox. "Welcome to the business! I wish you all the luck." He said in the most genial tone. Loki took the shoebox and turned to exit the room. Ben grabbed him by his already bruised arm and dragged him back downstairs and back out to the car. Loki's mind was strangely blank, and he was suddenly being pulled from the car in front of his dorm, with no memory of how they had gotten there. He cursed himself for forgetting to notice the route they took again. Once they got to front door of his dorm, Ben patted his shoulder and said,

"We'll be in touch soon. I suggest you start moving that product immediately, Thanos is not known for his patience and understanding." Ben said menacingly, before setting Loki's keys, wallet, and phone on top of the box Loki was holding. Loki watched him climb back into the car, and stared after it until it pulled around the corner. He let himself into his building and blindly made his way back to his room. The shaking was spreading from his hands to his arms, and it was getting worse. He barely managed to unlock his door before he dropped the things he was holding, and kicked them into the room in front of him before slamming the door behind him and locking it. He fell back against the door and collapsed against it, not able to hold back the tears any longer. He hated crying, because it made him feel weak, but enough things had occurred tonight that he couldn't hold back. He cried until his eyes burned and stop producing tears, and then drifted into an uneasy sleep, slumped against the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello hello hello! Ok, so I've decided never to write a story involving so many flashbacks ever again. It is a pain in the ass to keep track of! I hope it's not too confusing, I'll try to keep it straight and clearly marked. This is back in the 'present', the day after Tony decided to confront Loki about their little non-sober make out session. And so the drama continues! If you like it, please review! If you don't like it, also review! I want to hear your thoughts, but I'm not psychic, so help me out! Much love.

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Tony, after grabbing a few short hours of sleep and going to class still drunk (not the first time, either), headed straight for the rehab center to see Loki. He knew Loki would probably be avoiding him, so he was heading over earlier than usual to surprise him, and catch Loki off-guard. He was unsuccessful. Loki had actually expected Tony to skip class entirely, and show up before lunch to demand answers. Loki, knowing Tony, had locked himself in his room, reported that he was feeling ill and skipped his group session for the day (not really a loss, he never spoke to those idiots anyway), and was deeply involved in a novel by the time Tony showed up. Loki immediately recognized his petulant knock.

"Open up, Lokes. I brought food!" Tony bribed. He was determined to keep his best friend, after losing Loki for six months, he wasn't going to let anything keep him from Loki again, so he was doing his best 'supportive friend' routine. Step one was bring food. There was only one step.

Loki didn't reply, so Tony knocked again.

"Yoo-hoo! Anybody home? Darling, I brought sustenance for your delicate digestion." Tony yelled in a sing-song voice. He was hoping to embarrass Loki into opening the door, and it worked. The door was jerked open, and Loki pulled Tony into the room violently, slamming the door once Tony was inside.

"You imbecile! Do you realize I could get in trouble if someone hears the stupid things that come out of your mouth?" Loki hissed. Tony burst out laughing, the livid look on Loki's face was totally worth the ridiculous tongue lashing.

"I missed you too." He said through his giggles. He held up the food as a peace offering. Loki took it and sniffed the bag suspiciously. Tony usually brought fried bags of grease to eat, but he had gone for something more to Loki's taste this time, some Thai food. Loki walked over to his bed and sat down, then started pulling the warm boxes of food from the bag. Tony followed suit, and they ate for a few minutes in relative silence. However, with Tony in the room silence can only last for so long.

"So, how was the rest of your evening yesterday, do anything exciting?" Loki sighed, wishing he could just enjoy his food in peace.

"I finished my homework and worked on my writing. Nothing unusual." Loki purposely did not ask Tony a question, hoping the conversation would die and he could focus on eating.

"Well I had a few drinks." Loki sighed again. Tony never seemed to understand the value of _not _ talking. "Not out a bar or anything, just something to help me sleep. I don't know, does drinking when you're alone make you an alcoholic? Should you be worrying about me? Because I would be totally flattered if you were worried, not that it would make me stop."

"Do you really want to sit in a rehab center and talk to a druggie about your addiction problems?" Loki looked at Tony, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. Tony bit his lip, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Oh, no, that's not what I- I was only joking, you know, just trying to get a conversation going, talking about myself, whatever."

"Well, first of all, you should think before you open your mouth. Maybe that's a problem you could work on. Second, have you ever considered the option of not having a conversation, just eating quietly?"

"No. That doesn't sound good at all." Tony said stubbornly, causing Loki to roll his eyes. Loki turned back to his food, all hope that this would be a quiet meal gone, but he was determined to enjoy the food nonetheless.

"Okaaay then. So how was your day today? I had class, nothing unusual, though I honestly wouldn't know because I slept through it, as usual. Don't worry, I'll get Rhodey's notes." Tony said, referring to his physics lab partner. "I wouldn't want you to worry about my grades either." He finished with a wink in Loki's direction.

"Oh I won't worry. You might be shocked into caring about something if you actually failed a course. You never know, change might be good for you." Loki said disdainfully. His tone caused Tony to sigh in response. The time for messing around was over, Tony decided it was time to take this conversation into serious territory.

"Yeah, change can be good. So I was kind of, maybe, sort of hoping that we could continue that conversation from last night." Tony took Loki's food and set all the boxes to the side. Turning to face Loki, Tony took a deep breath to brace himself. He needed to have this conversation, but neither of them wanted to. But if the last day was any indication, Tony couldn't just keep going without resolving this issue. So, he braced himself to get it over with. This was going to hurt. "Loki, I tried to ignore it, but I really like you, and I want to be more than friends. Why can't we at least try? I mean, I know this isn't the best timing in the world, but would it hurt to give it a shot?" Loki was staring at his hands, which were restlessly clenching and unclenching in his lap, fighting the urge to run, or punch Tony in the face. That was how he usually dealt with this level of anxiety.

"Tony, I just can't. Things are different now, and you don't even know what you would be getting into. It's not worth it. We should just go back to the way things were, before." He said, referring to the time before his problems.

"Stop it! Stop giving me excuses, and give me one fucking reason why you won't even try! This is all bullshit! I care about you, you know I do, so what aren't you telling me?" Tony was standing now, and he was almost shouting. His emotions were getting the better of him, and fast. Time for some calming deep breaths.

"I can't. I can't give you the reasons, because I can't get you involved, Tony. Remember when I said he wouldn't just let me get out? Well, it's not over. I'm just tired of fighting. I'm giving up Tony. I know you don't understand, and I wish I could explain it, but there's no reason to put you at risk, too." He looked up at Tony pleadingly, wanting to just drop the subject. He really didn't want Tony to get hurt because of him, and he was going to have to hurt him to make him let go. It was beginning to look like his only option. He had to hurt Tony, he had to reject him, for his own protection. Because he sure as hell wasn't going to let Thanos get to him.

"Loki, please. Tell me who it is that's making you do this! I can help! I want to get involved, because I need you! I'm not going to let this happen to you. Just let me help!"

"No, Tony. You can't help, because it's too late. You've already let this happen to me, six months of this!" Now Loki was yelling too, and they were standing across the room from each other, like they were squaring up for a boxing match. "This is not your problem anymore, so just drop it!"

"It is my problem, because I said it was. You don't get to decide this for me."

"No, you decided for yourself six months ago. You weren't there when I needed you, and you damn sure can't start now, so just fuck off! I don't want your help!" Loki's eyes were watering now, but he tried to wipe them away before Tony noticed. He was too late, because Tony's face softened and he sat back down on the bed, looking slightly deflated.

"Loki, what happened to you? Why are you acting like this?"

"It doesn't matter – I mean, you can't help, anyway – why can't you just drop it?" He was suddenly exhausted. All the lying and covering was just too much, and he felt the weight of all that had happened lately on his shoulders, and here was Tony, saying all the right things. He thought for a moment, chewing his lip as he debated whether or not he should just give in. He suddenly wanted, no _needed_ to tell Tony everything. He just wanted to share this burden with someone. He wanted to be selfish, just this once.

"Please, tell me. I want to know, and I think anything that is hurting my friend this much matters. You matter to me Loki, and despite how I've been acting the last six months, I'm here now. I'm so sorry for what's happened to you Loki. I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. Please, tell me what it was, so I can help you now. It doesn't have to get worse." Tony said, as Loki sat down on the bed next to him, he raised a hand to rub Loki's shoulder. "Please." He repeated. Finally, Loki relaxed, laying back on the bed, with his feet on the floor. He covered his eyes with his hands, and took a deep breath.

"I'll tell you." He started. "But-" he held up a finger to Tony, who was already opening his mouth to interrupt. "You have to promise to sit there, silently, and listen. No interrupting, no surfing the internet on your phone while I'm talking. Just listen." He opened one eye to see Tony nod in agreement, before crossing his arms and staring at the ceiling. "It all started that night we were playing Apples to Apples at the coffee shop, when we were supposed to be studying."

Loki proceeded to tell Tony about the night he met Thanos. To his credit, Tony managed to sit mostly still through it, though Loki had to cover his hands at one point to stop his fidgeting. When Loki got to the part where he was back in his dorm, he stopped. He didn't tell Tony about the crying, because he knew how pathetic Tony probably already though he was. Tony never would have given in so easily. When he stopped, he looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment in Tony's face. It was stupid, really. All this drama, just because Loki couldn't stand up to a bully.

Loki was pulled from his thoughts when Tony lifted him from the bed, till he was sitting up and Tony was hugging him. He took a second to comprehend what was happening.

"Loki, that's horrible. I'm so sorry. I should have done something, I knew you were upset, and I just ignored it." He stopped, and leaned back to look Loki in the eye. "I'm not really good at the whole, 'comforting words' thing, but I really am sorry." Loki hiccupped and leaned into Tony's shoulder. Telling someone about Thanos, even just that little bit, was overwhelming, and he had not been expecting Tony's reaction. He couldn't hold the tears back. He sobbed into Tony's shoulder for several minutes before he could breath properly. Tony slowly rubbed a hand across his back, and just sat there, letting Loki cry.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm so weak." Loki said as his tears subsided. He sat up, looking at the wet spot he'd left on Tony's shirt. "I'm sorry for ruining your shirt." He said, wiping his face on his sleeve. Tony looked down at his shoulder.

"Well, I think I can afford to replace this." Loki cringed. Tony was always joking. He was probably waiting to get out of here, and away from Loki.

"Thanks for listening." Tony patted Loki's shoulder.

"Anytime. I'm just relieved you finally opened up, and you're not weak. I would have pissed myself if someone pointed a gun at me and gave me ten seconds to make that decision. Really, Loki." Tony assured him, seeing Loki's disbelief. "Look at me, Loki. You're stronger than you act." Loki blinked in confusion.

"That's weird. I don't think anyone's ever said that to me before." Loki said, surprised at Tony's reaction.

"Yeah, well it's true. You're very strong. I'm a little jealous, actually." He yawned and wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulders, making Loki laugh at his cheesiness. "Well, I know there's more to the story, but I'm wiped. Looks like the hangover from yesterday is finally hitting me. Wanna lay down for a while?" He flicked his gaze to the pillows and raised his eyebrow suggestively. Loki smiled despite himself and flopped down onto the pillows.

"Fine, but I'm going to sleep, and you better not do anything that keeps me awake." Tony lay down next to him, taking the position of 'big spoon'. They fell asleep that way, cuddled together on Loki's bed.


	7. Chapter 7

Greetings, darling readers! I'm so glad you're still here, I hope my writing isn't too tedious. Apologies for any mistakes, I hate editing because I hate reading my own writing! Anyway, this chapter is a bit of a cliffhanger, apparently I enjoy writing cliffhangers. It certainly makes it easier to start the next chapter, when I can just jump right into the action! If you're feeling especially kind and amazing, please review, I love to hear your thoughts, and it makes me want to post new chapters more often.

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Loki awoke before Tony. He felt surprisingly care free for once, like telling Tony had lifted the burden from his shoulders. Then he remembered that the burden was now on Tony's shoulders. And then the guilt followed. He shifted slowly out of Tony's arms and walked quietly to the bathroom to wash his face. He was just drying off when there was a knock at the door, and he simultaneously remembered the rule about not having overnight guests at the center while he realized his therapist was probably checking on him after he reported being sick the day before. _Shit_. He dashed over to the bed and shook Tony awake.

"Tony! You have to get up!" He hissed in Tony's ear. "They're here to check on me, and if they see you I'm dead! Move, you moron!" Finally Tony stirred. He only had time to look at Loki with a very confused expression before Loki jerked him up out of bed and shoved him in the closet, ordering him to be still and quiet. Loki quickly arranged his clothes and ran a hand through his hair before opening the door. He quickly assured his therapist that he was feeling much better, and sent the doctor on her way. With a relieved sigh, he closed the door. When Tony didn't emerge from the closet, he walked over and opened the door.

"What are you doing in there, sleeping some more?" He smirked as he gazed down on Tony, who had pulled Loki's favorite tshirt off the hanger and was, for lack of a better word, snuggling with it as he sat on the floor of the closet.

"I, um, like this shirt. Can I have it?" Tony asked innocently. Loki rolled his eyes and grabbed it from his friend's hands.

"No, it's my favorite." He answered, and Tony gave him devastating puppy eyes. They failed miserably. Loki turned and stripped off the shirt he was still wearing from yesterday and changed into the tshirt that was still warm from Tony's touch. Tony stared, distracted by the beautifully pale, smooth skin that was Loki's torso.

"Do you know how sexy you look in the morning? It's really very distracting." Loki turned, and raised an eyebrow asking,

"The other day you said I was distracting when I was just reading. Tell me, does everything I do distract you?" He smirked.

"Yes." Tony answered honestly. Loki's expression faded. He decided to change the subject.

"Well, maybe you should go. I don't want to get found out, and I need to finish an essay for class."

"Right, yeah. Class. I think I have some work I need to do. Hey, we could have a study date! Why don't you get your stuff ready, and we can swing by my dorm to get my stuff, and we can go study at Starbucks or something?" He asked hopefully. Loki hesitated. He really didn't want to hurt Stark's feelings, especially after how understanding Tony had been last night, but the man was unsufferable. He decided to meet him halfway.

"Fine, but I need to shower and change first. Alone" he added, seeing Tony open his mouth to interrupt. "So you go get ready, and I'll meet you out front in an hour. Deal?" Tony considered it briefly.

"Square deal. Out front, one hour." With that, he gave Loki a wink, grabbed his coat and shoes, and headed out. Loki sincerely hoped no one would notice him leaving, he really didn't need to worry about getting kicked out of the rehab center. He sighed and turned towards the bathroom, deciding a shower was his first priority.

Tony left the rehab center feeling almost giddy. He had finally gotten Loki to open up, a little, and Loki had let himself be comforted for once. The cuddling was nice, though Tony wished he could have at least gotten to first base. But no, he reminded himself that Loki's health and sanity were first priority, not Tony's desire for his best friend. It was new territory for him, and he wanted to 'do it right', meaning he wanted to try having a real relationship for once. It would help if Loki seemed at all interested in the idea. Tony had noticed that Loki had yet to outright refuse his advances. So far, all Loki's reasons were related to his 'situation', not his feelings, so Tony intended to continue pursuing the idea.

Overall, Tony was feeling very pleased with himself as he climbed into his car. He tossed his shoes and jacket to the passenger seat, cranked up the music, and drove back to his dorm for a quick shower and a change of clothes.

He was a few minutes early getting back to the rehab center in his eagerness, so he waited patiently by the front entrance, leaning against the door of the car. Lifted his sunglasses from his face to look at his phone. He had a message from Rhodey, telling Tony (again) that he was done letting the playboy borrow his notes. Tony skipped past it, seeing his daily voicemail from Thor awaiting him. Thor was using Tony as his personal messenger, always asking for updates on Loki, trying to get as much information as possible on his younger brother. Tony deleted it before listening, knowing he couldn't tell Thor what had happened the night before. Thor was nothing if not overprotective, and Tony didn't feel like sharing Loki's secret. He wanted Loki to trust him, and he was going to try and deserve that trust. Plus, Thor was just really annoying on the phone.

After checking his email and facebook, finding nothing interesting, he started to play a game of Angry Birds, just to kill time. He just finished a level when he was startled by someone walking out of the center. He looked up, smiling, before realizing it wasn't Loki. He checked the time on his phone, it was 15 minutes after they were supposed to meet. He dialed Loki's number. It went straight to voicemail. Tony frowned. He moved his car to a parking spot and headed into the building. He knocked on Loki's door a few times before picking the lock, because he wasn't getting a response. Tony immediately knew something was wrong. Loki's book bag was sitting on the desk, and the contents were spilled out, and a book had fallen onto the floor. Loki was uptight when it came to the organization of his room, and he would never have left it this way. It looked like he had been in the middle of packing his stuff when someone had literally pulled him away. Tony felt a spasm of worry in his stomach.

He ran back to the front desk to ask if they had seen him leave. They hadn't even noticed Tony leaving earlier and returning, so he knew they was little chance they would have. He was right. He felt his pulse quicken, feeding adrenaline to his system as he started to panic. He hadn't listened to Loki's worries about his past, he had only tried to pry. He just wanted Loki to talk about it and get over it, he hadn't stopped to think that maybe Loki was actually in deeper shit than he recognized.

He went back to Loki's room to search for clues. The only thing he found was that Loki's cell was on the desk underneath his bag, along with his keys and wallet. Tony's stomach dropped. He had been holding out hope that maybe Loki had just gone for a spontaneous walk, but now he couldn't deny it any longer. He dialed Thor's number. Thor answered in his usual cheerful voice, and Tony barely got the words out, the guilt was quickly becoming overwhelming.

"Thor- it's Loki. I think he's in trouble."

"What?" Thor's tone changed dramatically. "What happened? Where is he?"

"I'm not positive, I hope I'm wrong, but I think-" He took a deep breath through his nose, trying to calm down enough to say it out loud. "I think he's been kidnapped." Thor immediately started yelling, and Tony hung up, not being able to understand what Thor was saying, anyway. He sat on the bed and hung his head in his hands. He was still sitting like that when Thor finally arrived.

Tony explained the situation to him.

"Why have you not called the police? Surely they would help?" Thor asked. He placed infinitely more trust in the authorities than Tony did. Tony just shrugged.

"That's probably true. Your welcome to, but I'm not sticking around for that. I have his name, and I'm going to find the bastard that took Loki."

"Stark, don't be foolish. Going after this Thanos alone is reckless. I think it is better to wait for assistance, namely men with guns and training." Thor was using his big brother voice, the condescending one. Tony suddenly understood Loki's frustration with Thor so much better.

"Whatever. I have to go. I need to think." Tony said before stalking out of the room. Thor could call the police if he wanted, but Tony felt that this was personal, and he wanted to take care of it himself, reckless or not. He tried to tell himself it wasn't because he wanted Loki's gratitude for rescuing him, or because Tony wanted to take personal revenge on Thanos, but everything about this was selfish and personal. That didn't change his resolve. As soon as he got back to his room he sat at his computer and started trying to find something, anything useful about Thanos. This, he could do. Hacking was a gift of his, and if there was anything on the internet, anything at all, Tony would find it and track it to the source. He wasn't going to wait on the police to fill out the proper paperwork. Loki needed him, and he was going to be there this time.

~Loki's room; Just after Tony left (the first time)~

Loki was smiling despite himself. He really should limit his time with Tony, so Thanos wouldn't decide to go after Loki's friends instead. But the idea of spending a relaxing day with Tony, not talking about Loki's problems or dealing with Loki's issues, sounded like just what he needed. After telling Tony about Thanos, Loki actually felt a little safer around Tony. It wasn't logical, and it certainly wouldn't matter when Thanos did decide to come for him, but for now it made him feel a little better. He continued smiling as he finished his shower and put on some jeans and picked his favorite shirt again. It made him giggle to remember Tony cuddling with it. He was in the middle of packing his books into his bag when there was a knock at the door. He looked at his clock. He wasn't supposed to meet Tony for another half hour. He rolled his eyes at Tony's eagerness.

"You couldn't wait, huh? You're ridiculous-" He stopped when he opened the door and was confronted with a familiar face that wasn't Tony's. It was a very angry, and very bruised looking Ben, the man that had taken Loki from his dorm room so many months ago. "No." Loki whispered, lifting a hand as if to defend himself as he back away, further into the room.

Ben made no response, but pulled a syringe from his pocket. He walked quickly towards Loki. Loki turned to reach for his phone, but it was underneath his things and he only managed to grab the strap of his bag before Ben pulled Loki's arm sharply behind him, scattering the contents of the bag and dumping a book onto the floor. Loki tried to yell, but Ben quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, twisting Loki's arm painfully behind his back.

"You have made more trouble than you're worth, you little shit. And this time, I'm going to make you pay for it." Ben whispered menacingly, spit flying into Loki's face. Loki shuddered in his grasp and struggled. Ben quickly released Loki's arm, but plunged the syringe he was holding into Loki's upper arm before Loki could recover. He felt the sharp sting as the needle plunged into his arm, and it was only seconds before he was unconscious from the powerful sedative. Ben lifted Loki's slight form and quickly carried him out the back exit, which Chad had disarmed the alarm on when they arrived. Ben threw Loki into the trunk of the car unceremoniously and hopped in. Chad quickly rearmed the alarm, so no one would notice they had been there. They drove out of the parking lot, passing Tony's obnoxious red sports car as they turned onto the street.


	8. Chapter 8

Greetings, darling readers. I hope you are all having a good week so far. Yesterday was my birthday, and today I had a snowday from work, so I thought it would be a good time to write a chapter. Turns out, I was right. So here you go, extra long chapter. I've already started the next one, so forgive the cliffhanger. I can't stop. *laughs maniacally* I'm sorry. I love you all!

p.s. I seem to be stuck in writing the past, so I'm thinking the next chapter and maybe the one after that will all be flashbacks, so I hope that's okay. If not, too bad. Or review and let me know if you hate the idea, and we'll do something else.

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When Loki woke, he was in an unfamiliar room. It was dark, with no windows and only one door. It had to be a closet, judging from the size. The cold cement floor he was on seemed to indicate it was a basement. He sat up to lean against the wall and rubbed his neck. The syringe had been stabbed in roughly, and he could feel a bruise forming. His brain was still fuzzy from the drugs, so he tried to think straight, but just couldn't focus.

He had been taken back to Thanos, he could reasonably assume. The bruises on Ben seemed to indicate that Thanos was angry. He tried to be afraid, but he just felt numb. He wasn't worried, because he knew there was nothing he could do, and stressing about it was a waste of energy. In fact, Loki was a tiny bit relieved. The anxiety he had been feeling since the intervention was gone, because the thing he had been fearing had happened. Or was happening. But he didn't have to sit and wait anymore. He was also glad that Tony would be okay. It seemed that Thanos' lack of patience did Loki a favor, in that Tony didn't have time to get more involved, didn't have time to get on Thanos' radar before Loki's time was up. And now Thanos would take his revenge on Loki, and he would do horrible things, probably worse than he'd done before, but Loki had been expecting this. Instead of trying to follow Thanos' orders and hoping not to get in trouble, he had given up. And now he had to face the consequences of that decision. He really hoped Thanos wouldn't drag it out.

Loki had experienced Thanos' wrath before, and he knew it mattered little what he said or did from this point, because Thanos was a psychopath with no mercy. Loki only hoped he was too angry to be creative with his vengeance. The sooner he lost control and killed Loki, the sooner it would all be over. Loki sighed and leaned his head against the wall behind him. His eyes closed as his thoughts drifted back, unbidden, to all the times he had been punished by Thanos.

~One week after Loki's first encounter with Thanos~

Loki was sitting in his room. He was staring at his phone, debating whether to call Tony. He hadn't gone to class the day after his 'meeting' with Thanos, and the following few days he had been avoiding Tony and the rest of the group. He had gone to class, but didn't talk to anyone. Tony had been calling and texting constantly, even knocked on Loki's door a few times, but Loki never answered. He was still trying to figure out what had actually happened. It was so surreal, the whole experience, that Loki would have wondered if it was real, except for the box that was now sitting on the floor of his closet, buried under some clothes, so he wouldn't have to look at it.

He had gone through the contents the day he skipped class. Inside the box or 'starter kit' as the instructions inside referred to it, were bags with small amounts of a variety of drugs. Loki wouldn't have even recognized some of them if they weren't labeled. Inside each bag, along with the substances, was a sheet stating the contents, and a suggested sale price. The instructions that had been placed on top were very explicit. They even included some suggestions on how to go about approaching potiential 'clients'. Loki had hidden the box away after examining the items. He may have agreed to this, even signed a contract, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do it. He was afraid to tell anyone though. The memory of Thanos' voice as he mentioned Tony's name was dark and threatening enough that Loki knew he was serious.

Loki knew he couldn't avoid his friends forever, so he was trying to think of a way to keep them out of it, to keep them safe. He wasn't sure how bad this was going to get, but he didn't want them to be involved. He decided that cutting himself off from his friends was the best option. He would have to deal with this on his own. He wrote a short text, sending it to Tony. "Leave me alone. I don't want to see you." Was all it said. After it was sent, Loki shut his phone off, not wanting to see or hear Tony's reply. He knew Tony wouldn't give in right away, but Loki hoped if he ignored Tony long enough that he would give up, and just leave Loki alone.

Loki was just debating whether a nap would make him feel less exhausted when there was a sharp knock on the door. He assumed it was Tony, responding to his text, so he rested his head on the desk, ignoring it. The knock sounded again, and he heard the sound of someone trying to open the door. He sighed in annoyance. He was definitely glad he locked his door, and he had been triple checking it every hour for the last week, since his terrifying encounter. He got up to look through the peep hole to make sure it was just Tony, and to prevent him from picking the lock if it was. He was about to lean into the door when the man on the other side spoke.

"I would open this door if I were you. We know you're in there, and if you don't I'll kick it in." Threatened the voice on the other side. Loki shivered, his body responding to the voice he recognized as Ben's. His hands started shaking, but he reached out to turn the knob. As soon as the lock clicked open, the door was pushed in, and Ben stepped through, closing it behind him. Loki was strongly reminded of the first time Ben had come to him, and entered almost exactly the same way. He tried to contain the shaking in his hands.

"Where's the box." Ben asked, as he started searching through Loki's room. "Boss says we have to make sure you're doing your job." He started pulling things from drawers and tossing them. Loki just stood and watched. Ben continued going through his things, and when he got to the closet, Loki held his breath. He knew that Ben would find the box, and he knew he would be in trouble, but he couldn't help hoping that maybe it would turn out okay. No such luck.

"Ah ha. That's where you hide your shit? Not very original." Ben picked up the box from the floor, and set it on the bed, flipping the lid off. "Well, looks like you've been slacking." He shook his head. "I'm gonna have to tell the boss." He pulled out his phone and started to dial.

"Don't!" Loki spat before he could stop himself. "No, you don't have to do that, I'll do it, I will. I just had a lot of work this week, and I didn't have time, I swear I'll get on it." He was pleading, practically begging, but he really didn't want to have to see Thanos again. His nerves couldn't handle it.

"Sorry, but you see, I just don't believe you." Ben said menacingly. He looked at Loki for a second, and then put his phone away. "Alright, I don't want to have to call him either." Loki breathed a sigh of relief, but was cut short when Ben's fist connected with his stomach, knocking him to the ground. "But I can't come back next week and find that you still haven't done anything." He paused to pick Loki up from the floor and hit him again. He kicked Loki in the stomach, and then told Loki to stand up. Loki struggled, pulling himself up against his bed and clutching his stomach. Ben's muscles weren't just for show, and he wasn't holding back on Loki.

"Please, I'll do it. Please stop." Now he was begging, the last of his pride fleeing from him with the pain. Ben hit him in the face.

"You fucking better. I'll be back, same time next week. If that box isn't completely sold, you won't be able to walk." Ben turned and walked out. Loki stood for a minute, lost in pain and shock. He hadn't expected Ben's sudden and violent reaction. His stomach was aching, and his face was throbbing. He limped over to the bathroom, washing his face. Thankfully, he didn't have any cuts but he had a feeling that he would have a pretty nice bruise across his cheek. He cursed. This was going to be tough to hide. Now he had to try even harder to avoid his friends, or they would start asking questions.

The next day he skipped class again, because his stomach hurt too much to walk. Dark purple bruises had blossomed across his abdomen overnight, and his cheek was swollen. He decided it was easier to stay in bed. After the swelling went down the next day, he got to work moving the products from his starter kit. He found it surprisingly easy to sell to people, and he even found that he could jack the prices up and people would still pay. Ben would stop by every week with more drugs for Loki to sell, and Loki was managing to avoid talking to his friends by just ignoring them. Thor was annoying, but not as persistent as Tony, who continued to stop by Loki's room at random times. Once he was waiting outside the door when Loki left his room. It was only a few days after Loki got beaten up, and the bruise across his cheek was still very noticeable.

"Hey Rudolph! I was wondering when you were going to come out." Tony started chattering immediately, using the nickname he had giving Loki because Loki's nose turned red when he was embarrassed. Tony, as usual, was blabbering and wouldn't shut up. Loki brushed past him and walked down the hallway. "So you're skipping class now? What happened to-" Tony stopped suddenly, noticing the discoloration on Loki's face. "What the hell? Did someone hit you? Loki, Stop!" Tony yelled, but Loki continued walking. Tony let him go. Loki found himself feeling guilty after that confrontation. He really missed Tony, but more than anything he didn't want the older boy to get hurt. That night, when he was back in his room (thankfully Tony hadn't been waiting for him when he had returned), he sat debating with himself. The guilt and anxiety of the whole situation was getting to him, and he didn't know how to deal with it. He was going through his inventory, figuring out how much money he needed to give to Ben at their next meeting, when he made the impulsive decision to take something to distract himself. He grabbed a random bag, and took some. He didn't even care what it was.

He found that while the drugs didn't actually make him feel better, they did at least distract him. He started selling his products at higher prices than he needed to so he could indulge his newfound habit, and still give Thanos his money. Thanos was paying him handsomely, and so far Loki had no further contact outside Ben dropping off the new product and picking up Thanos' cut once a week.

After that first encounter, Tony started waiting outside Loki's room more often, and Loki was worried that Tony would run into Ben. The thought of Ben hitting Tony was what caused him to finally say something to Tony. He decided to do something about it. He spent a long time debating about it because he really didn't want to, but he finally convinced himself he was doing it for Tony's safety. Not that it made it any easier, but it was the only way he could go through with it. The next time he saw Tony, he did what was necessary to protect his friend.

"Hey Rudolph! How are you today? I'm great, except my best friend hasn't spoken to me in two weeks, and is apparently a member of fight club, but I guess he can't talk about it." Tony stopped to laugh at his own joke. He was still trying to get Loki to spill about that bruise, even though it was long healed. "So, anyway, there's this thing this weekend and I was thinking-"

"Tony, shut up." Loki interrupted. It was the first words he had spoken to Tony in weeks, and the shocked look on Tony's face would have made him laugh if he hadn't been feeling so morose. "The great Tony Stark, speechless? Amazing." Loki deadpanned. He wished to himself that he could do this without hurting Tony, but there was no other way to keep him out of it.

"Loki, please, I just want to talk." Tony pleaded, in a serious tone for once.

"No. I don't care Tony. What's it going to take for you to see that I don't want to talk to you? Get it through your thick skull, Tony."

"Loki, really? I'm your best friend! Whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry! But if you don't tell me, there's no way I can keep from doing it again! Loki, I'm an idiot. We're both fully aware of that fact, so please help me out here, I just want my friend back. Do you even know how much the IQ of our group is lowered when you're not there? Not as much as it would be if I wasn't there, of course, but I digress." Loki rolled his eyes. Tony could never keep his ego, or his mouth, in check.

"Look, Tony. I don't know what it is you think you did, but it's not that." Loki already felt bad about dumping Tony (as a friend), he didn't want Tony to think it was his fault, on top of everything.

"Oh please, you're not going to give me the whole, 'it's not you it's me' speech, are you?"

"Yeah, actually, I am. I've changed Tony, I made a new friend, and I can't be friends with you anymore. I don't need you around, and frankly, you're annoying." Loki decided that being harsh was the best route to ending this quickly so he could go get high.

"Well, if that's the case, then I want to meet this new friend. Come on, Loki. You may not need me anymore, but why can't we still be friends? Seriously, what has changed?" Loki shook his head. He needed to end this now, and Tony wasn't going to just let it go.

"You know what, Tony? Nothing's changed, I just don't want to put up with your ego anymore. I seem to have lost my patience. That's all. Now if you would leave, I would greatly appreciate it." With that, Loki turned and walked away from Tony, resisting the urge to turn back and see how much he had hurt Tony.

The next time Ben came for his weekly visit, he had some news for Loki.

"The boss wants to see you. You're coming with me." He told Loki, who had been trying to ignore Ben by catching up on the reading he was severely behind on. Loki looked up from his book.

"What?" He asked, mostly because he was a little high and actually didn't understand what had been said.

"Come on, let's go. The boss needs to have a talk with you." Ben looked annoyed at having to repeat himself.

"Um, no? I'd rather not. Just leave the drugs and I'll sell them. Look, if it helps, I'll even take a pay cut." Loki really hoped that Thanos hadn't found out about him taking the drugs. That would not end well.

"Whatever. The boss said he wants to see you, so you're coming." He held open the door for Loki, waiting.

Finally, Loki realized that trying to skip out on this one wasn't going to work. He sighed, and went to grab his phone. Ben stopped him.

"Sorry, but you won't be needing that. Don't worry, I've got a copy of your keys, I'll make sure it's locked." He said smugly. That gave Loki a feeling of panic. They climbed into the same vehicle that had transported them last time, with Chad once again in the driver's seat. Loki took a deep breath and tried to quell the panic as the car pulled into the street.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys, so this chapter we finally get to see what OTHER interest Thanos has in Loki. tsunami1156, unfortunately you were right in pointing out that Thanos was awfully committed to getting Loki, for only having seen him in a coffee shop. Poor Loki. I'm sorry, I really am.

**Warning! Non-Con/Rape!**

Ugh. This chapter sucked to write. I hope you guys don't hate me! Please review, whether or not you hate it!

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Loki's second meeting with Thanos was very different from the first. Loki hoped that he wouldn't be threatened with a gun this time, and that maybe he would be able to keep it together, at least a little. He started by paying attention to where they were driving this time. Chad was driving again, but he wasn't marked by the same bruises as Ben. Neither of them spoke during the ride, but they both looked extremely pissed off. Loki was memorizing the route, but when they stopped in front of another abandoned house, he didn't recognize it. It seemed that Thanos has a number of these types of locations set up. Ben got out and escorted Loki into the house, just like before. Just like before, the inside of the house was empty and dirty. They went upstairs, just like the last time. Unlike last time, the room that Ben led Loki to was a bedroom. It was elegantly decorated, and Thanos was sitting reclined across the bed. Loki felt a weight settle in his stomach as he entered.

"Evening, Loki." Thanos greeted. "It's good to see you again. Please, come in." He beckoned Loki with his hand, and Ben shut the door once Loki was inside. Loki swallowed and looked around the room, trying to avoid looking at Thanos.

"I'm very happy with the work you've been doing so far, I knew you would excel in this line of work." Loki scoffed. "Oh, you disagree? Well, let me tell you, none of my other dealers can manage to upsell their drugs enough to supply to themselves the way you do. It's clearly your gift." Loki gaped at Thanos in disbelief and terror. Thanos clearly noticed the panic on Loki's face. "Oh don't worry, you're not here because of that. Frankly, I find it amusing that you are so successful. I had a good feeling about you." Thanos stood from the bed, stepping towards Loki, who retreated until his back was pressed against the door. "No, you're here because I find you intriguing." Thanos reached out to stroke Loki's face, and Loki flinched away from his touch, causing Thanos to laugh.

"Please, I'll keep selling the drugs, I'll sell anything, I promise." Loki pleaded, dreading where this encounter was heading. Thanos chuckled again, shaking his head. He gripped Loki's chin and pulled his face forward, so Loki was forced to look into his eyes.

"Oh, I know you will. The thing is, I am intrigued by more than your usefulness as a distributor. You caught my attention in an entirely different way." Thanos dropped his hand and stepped back, raking his gaze over Loki's body. Loki shivered in response and crossed his arms, trying his best to hide. He felt the shaking in his hands start again, and the weight in his stomach grew heavier, making it hard to stand. Thanos grabbed Loki's hand and forcefully pulled Loki to the bed, then pushed down on Loki's shoulder, forcing him to sit on the bed. Loki felt tears stinging his eyes, and stared at his feet, trying to imagine he was anywhere but sitting on a bed in front of an angry looking Thanos.

Thanos grabbed Loki's hand and placed it on his own belt, waiting. When he let go, Loki's hand dropped back to his lap. Thanos growled, and repeated the action, but Loki couldn't bring himself to do what Thanos wanted. Loki was thinking about the last time he was happy, the night at the coffee shop all those weeks ago, when they had been playing Apples to Apples and the biggest problem he had to face was that Tony kept distracting him from his homework. He was violently pulled back to reality by Thanos' fist connecting with his face. Loki's head snapped back, and he let out a gasp of pain.

"Are you done playing hard to get?" Thanos said menacingly, his voice dropping an octave. "Now, it's not going to suck itself." He added with a smirk. Loki choked back a sob, and reached up to unbuckle Thanos' belt. Thanos waited, but apparently grew impatient because Loki's hands were shaking badly enough he was fumbling. Thanos shoved Loki's hands away and tugged the belt out of his pants. He took his cock out, already semi-hard. Loki released a sob of anguish. He couldn't believe this was happening. _How did I let this happen?_ He wondered to himself. Before he could answer himself, Thanos gripped the back of his hair and pressed the head of his cock to Loki's lips, waiting for Loki to open his mouth.

"Now, now, little Loki, don't even think about doing anything as untoward as biting, or you and I both know you will regret it." Thanos chided him, as Loki reluctantly opened his mouth, and Thanos pushed his way in. Once he was as far in as Loki could comfortably allow, he let out a moan. "Oh, yes. You feel better than I thought." Thanos started thrusting gently in Loki's mouth, taking it slow. Loki was already struggling to breath between the large cock in his mouth and trying not to cry. He was choking back the tears, and almost wishing Thanos would speed it up, just to get this over with.

Before long, Thanos started thrusting deeper, harder, and Loki was struggling to breath around him. His jaw was aching, and he felt more humiliated than he could ever remember feeling before. He wasn't even trying to stop Thanos, he was just sitting there, and he felt the waves of shame washing over him with each of Thanos' moans. Thanos kept speeding his thrusts, smashing Loki's lips into his teeth. Loki was holding onto Thanos' hips, to keep himself upright and to try to hold Thanos back. Just when the pain was becoming unbearable, Thanos came, his hot seed spilling into Loki's mouth, down his throat, and out over his chin, mixing with the blood from his split lip. Thanos put his dick away, smoothed his hair back, and took a deep breath.

"Well, that was nice. I think we'll have to do that more often. Why don't you take a minute to clean yourself up before Ben and Chad take you home?" Thanos gestured to the bathroom before turning and leaving the room. Loki ran to the bathroom to throw up. He was heaving over the toilet for several minutes before he could think coherently. The shame and disgust were overwhelming. _How could I let him do that, why did I just sit there?_ Loki questioned himself. He sat on the bathroom floor, shaking and crying, for a long time before he had the strength to stand and wash his face. His tshirt was ruined, so he took it off and threw it away, zipping up the hoodie he was over it, to cover his chest. He didn't think he would ever feel better, but staying in this house was only making it worse, so he walked out to the hallway where Ben was waiting. Once again, the ride back to Loki's dorm was silent, but Ben had a satisfied smirk that hadn't been there when he picked Loki up. Loki tried not to notice that they were both looking back at him. They stopped in front of his dorm, and Loki almost got out and ran back before he remembered that Ben needed to let him in, because Loki didn't have his keys. He slowly stepped out of the car, and followed behind as Ben led him up to the building and to his door. Once the door was opened, Ben handed Loki a box with his weekly supply of drugs to sell, then turned and walked away, with a horrible smile on his face.

Loki managed to get in his room and lock the door behind him before he had to rush to the trash can to throw up again. Once the nausea faded, he headed to the shower, fully clothed. He turned the water on as hot as it would go and sat down, letting his tears fall invisible as the water streamed over him. His head ached from Thanos' fist, his mouth hurt from the forceful abuse it had taken, and his entire being was trembling from the emotions that threatened to overtake him. It was more than he thought he could possibly feel at one time. He sat in the shower for over an hour, until he was too exhausted to feel anymore. He changed into his sweats and an old tshirt, just barely making it to the bed before his legs gave out. Despite the exhaustion from the night's events, Loki found sleep evading him. Everytime he closed his eyes, he would see Thanos. He lay in bed, staring at nothing. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he fell out of bed an hour later, the jolt of hitting the floor waking him from a nightmare. He gave up on sleep after that, deciding to distract himself. He spent the rest of that night, and the next day surfing the internet, reading Harry Potter, and trying to think of anything but reality, because he didn't want his life to be real anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

How's it going, friends? I hope I didn't drive too many people away with the last chapter, but it's part of the story. Here's a chapter from Tony's perspective (mostly), a little less depressing hopefully. If you're reading this, that means you've persevered through 9 chapters of my mediocre writing, and we're basically best friends, whether you like it or not. :D I hope you like it, though. Please review, I love to read your opinions!

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Three hours after he sat down, Tony stood up from his computer, stretching and swearing. Three hours and nothing, nada, zip. He was not used to coming up empty handed, and it was not a feeling he liked. He picked up his phone to check for messages, without thinking, and found a text message. From Loki. He was halfway to unlocking his phone before he registered the name, and remembered that Loki was why he was searching the internet for Thanos. He promptly dropped his phone in shock. He scrambled to pick it up, kicking his chair out of the way and dropping to the floor, to fish it out from under the desk where it had fallen. Once he grabbed it, he sat up quickly, bumping his head on the bottom of the desk, but he was too focused on the text to notice. He unlocked the phone and opened the message, his heart racing. He was halfway expecting it to be an apologetic text from Loki, saying he had suddenly remembered something he had to do, and he was waiting for Tony to come pick him up. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

'**We have him. Meet at 1015 Wicker St. 3am. Alone. Bring 10G cash**.'

That was it. That was all he had to go on. Tony stood up from the floor after reading and re-reading the text, and started pacing. His brain was whirring, the thoughts running through his head faster than he could process. On top of planning to rescue Loki, finding the cash, doing all this without catching Thor's attention, he was panicking with worry over his friend. They didn't say anything about Loki's safety, or if he was alive. Tony shook his head, trying to think rationally. _They wouldn't ask for a ransom if he wasn't alive. He's alive. He's fine. I'm gonna get him out._

Tony took a deep breath, interrupting his pacing to go to the bathroom. He thought about taking a shower, but couldn't bring himself to sit still long enough. He settled on splashing cold water over his face and changing into clean (ish) clothes. He grabbed his phone, wallet, keys, and his stun gun, just in case, before leaving his room. He didn't even get down the hall before his plan was interrupted, by none other than Thor.

"Tony! Where have you been? I've been talking to the cops, don't you think you should, too?"

"Thor, if you wanted to find me, why didn't you call? I haven't been anywhere, and no I don't want to talk to the cops. Please leave me alone, I'm going to go do something stupid." Tony tried to walk past the taller man, but his shoulder was caught in a strong grip.

"Tony." Thor's voice was deep with concern. "You need to talk to the cops. They need to know everything that you're not telling me, Tony- listen, listen to me!" Thor was shouting now, because Tony kept trying to walk away, and Thor's grip was turning bruising on his arm.

"No! I don't need to listen, I don't need to talk to anyone. Loki tried to warn me, he tried to tell me- no! Let go of my fucking arm! You don't get it, you never fucking listened to him, so why the fuck should I listen to you!" Tony's words came out before he could process them, because his brain was so worried about Loki. Thor dropped his arm and shrank back against the wall. Tony felt the guilt settle in his gut. "Look Thor, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, but I gotta go. Look, you go do your thing with the cops, and I'll do my thing." Thor rubbed a hand over his face.

"You're right Tony, I never listened to him. But I'm listening now, please tell me what's going on! Why are you so worked up, what is the stupid thing that you're going to do?" _Oh great, now he starts paying attention to what I'm saying_. Tony thought.

"You know what, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it, I'll take care of Loki, and you just keep your nose clean. Listen Thor, I'm sorry, but I really have to go." With that, Tony turned and walked quickly out of the building. He was about to climb into his car when his phone went off. He checked it, and found a message from Thor.

'**Tony, I care about Loki too. Please let me help you, tell me what's going on.'**

Tony sighed and put his phone away. _Idiot._ Good thing Thor was so stubborn, because it made it easy to get over the guilt. He got into his car and drove off. The first thing he was going to do was gather the cash. It wasn't an unreasonable sum, and he could definitely get his hands on it, but it was a question of whether he asked his father, or got the money without his father's knowledge. In the end he decided this was stressful enough without having to deal with his father, so he would get the money fast and deal with the consequences later. As he pulled away from the bank, he checked his phone, no new messages. It was heading into evening by now, and he didn't have to deliver the money until 3am. He decided to swing by the drop site early, to see if he could figure anything out. It took him an hour to find it, because the place was on the other side of town, the sketchy side. Tony wasn't exactly familiar with the area, so after driving aimlessly for a while he finally turned on the GPS. By the time he had parked across the street from the house, he was getting sick with worry and anxiety. He was trying to think of anything but what those bastards could be doing to Loki right now. His mind was inventing scenarios that were wholly unpleasant, and he couldn't seem to keep himself distracted from them.

After taking a moment to think, he decided to fuck calm and go into the house. It looked abandoned anyway, and he figured they were just using it as a drop location, not a safe house, or whatever. He locked his car, taking a moment to hope it didn't get broken into or stolen in this horrible neighborhood, and crossed the street. He paused in front of the door for a moment, hesitating. He was sure this was a bad idea, but the possibility that Loki might be somewhere in the house pushed him forward, and he opened the door. He was confused for a moment why the door wasn't locked, but once he looked around the inside of the house he realized why. The house had clearly been abandoned for a while, with the few pieces of furniture that littered the place were broken, and dust in the air tasted stale. Tony coughed a little, and glanced around. He didn't really think about what to do next, he just knew he needed to check if there was anyone here. He made his way slowly around the first floor, not finding anything. Next he went to the basement, and still found nothing. Next he went up to the second floor, and after clearing the rest of the house, he wasn't really expecting to find anything. To his surprise, the upstairs was not only furnished, but clean and well kept. The master bedroom was filled with a massive bed, and there was an office with nothing but a monstrous desk. The third room Tony checked had a folding table and some chairs, but was not as neat as the first two rooms. Tony was about to open the fourth and final door when he heard a noise behind the door, some quiet movement. He froze. _Shit. Shit shit shit motherfucking shit. _Tony was about to turn around and leave, but he realized they would have heard him searching through the rest of the house. The fact that they were still in the bedroom meant it was a trap. They were waiting for him. So they were baiting him, knowing he would come. That pissed Tony off. These people thought they could just take Loki, and fuck with Tony like that? Tony took out his stun gun, making sure it was armed (he forgot that once, which made for a very awkward moment before he got his ass kicked), and put a hand on the door knob.

Before he could over think it, he threw the door open, lifted his stun gun and pointed it in the room. Standing in the room was a big, bulky man, and a smaller man was behind him, seated next to the window. Tony fired his weapon at the bigger man, only noticing after that the man was pointing a gun in Tony's direction. The man tensed, and as he fell his gun fired, hitting Tony's leg. Tony yelled, and fell to the floor. The man sitting by the window said something, but Tony was too absorbed by the pain to pay attention. He had never been shot before, and it hurt a lot more than he would have guessed. He reached a hand down to hold his leg, but didn't look at it. He tried to look up at the man sitting at the window, but the man had walked over and was leaning over the big guy. Tony groaned in pain as he tried to move his leg. _Yeah, I'm not walking out._ He thought bitterly. He tried again to focus on the man that was now walking towards him, but before he could get a good look at the face, he felt a needle puncture his neck, and his vision faded.

~Meanwhile~

Loki didn't know how long he had been sitting in that closet, but it felt like years. His throat was painfully dry, his entire body was sore from being on the hard floor, and he was restless from being stationary for so long. He had tried sleeping to pass the time, but he couldn't relax. Despite the relief he had felt at first, the tension of waiting for his punishment was getting to him. He knew it was going to be bad, and painful, but just sitting here and not knowing when it was coming was almost as hard as dealing with the pain.

Finally, after Loki had begun to think his punishment was to rot in this closet until he starved, the door opened, and Loki blinked into the blinding light. He was grabbed roughly by his shirt and pulled up and out of the closet, and thrown onto the floor of a larger room. Loki blinked and tried to look around, but before his eyes could adjust, he felt a foot connect with his ribs. He cried out in surprise and pain. A fist immediately hit his face, and he felt his head bounce off of the floor. He gasped, inhaling a large amount of dust, then he had a coughing fit. By the time he caught his breath again, he could see Ben standing in front of him, looking incredibly angry with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched. Loki sat up, and waited for Ben to either talk or hit him again. Instead, Ben turned and walked out of the room. Thanos stepped in through the door Ben left through, and Loki felt the familiar hopelessness that came with Thanos' presence. He hoped it was only the pain this time, Loki could take the pain so much better than the other things that Thanos liked to do.

Thanos beat Loki for a good hour. By the time he was done, Loki couldn't breath without feeling pain, and he certainly couldn't move. Thanos stood over Loki's prone form, panting from the exertion.

"You disappoint me. I had such high hopes for you." Thanos spat on the ground, and walked out. Loki tried to curl in on himself, but whimpered because the pain of moving was too much. Ben came back in, dragging Loki back to the closet, ignoring Loki's yells of agony, and shut him into the darkness again. Loki sat still for a long time, adjusting to all the new injuries. He tried to take inventory. _At least one broken rib, broken nose, cuts and bruises...everywhere, possible concussion… _Loki's head was pounding so much he couldn't think clearly anymore. He shifted slightly, getting into a less painful position, before letting his mind space out and drifting into unconsciousness.


	11. Chapter 11

Hai! How are you? I hope you're all having a wonderful week. Mine has been entirely shitty, but that's beside the point. Here's the next chapter, hope it lives up to your expectations. Whether it does or not, I would be happy to hear your thoughts and opinions, so please review! Much love and adoration for sticking around.

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Tony woke up slowly. The first thing he noticed was the throbbing in his leg. He opened his eyes, squinting to focus in the dark. He looked around for his lamp. It took him a minute to realize he wasn't in his room. _Where the fuck am I?_ He looked around, but couldn't remember having seen this room before. He reached down to feel around his leg, and his hand touched something wet. He bumped the side of his calf, and pain radiated up his leg. He flinched and swore under his breath. The pain seemed to activate his memory, and he suddenly remembered how he got here. Loki, the text, the money, the house, the gun, and then the needle. It all flashed before him in a split second, and he immediately felt alert and awake. He looked around the room again, noting the details he had skimmed over the first time. The only light was filtering around a closed door above him, at the top of a staircase. The floor was cement and there were no windows, so Tony surmised he was in a basement. He briefly wondered if he was in the same house he had been taken in. Then he remembered that he hadn't told anyone where he was going, so it didn't matter. He felt his pockets to check for his phone, but of course it wasn't there. He tried to turn to look at the room that was behind him, but shifting his weight caused his jeans to rub against the wound in his leg, and he couldn't breathe for the pain. He laid back on the floor, resting his head, and trying to hold as still as possible to avoid irritating the injury.

Thanos was sitting behind his desk, trying to understand the idiocy surrounding him. Ben was standing before him, shifting his weight uncomfortably, waiting for Thanos to speak.

"Sir, what do you want us to do with them?" Ben asked hesitantly. Thanos sighed, but didn't respond. Ben resumed fidgeting, causing Thanos to lift his gaze from his fist sitting on the desk to glare.

"If you can't stand still, maybe you should go see how our guests are faring." Thanos said with a menacing edge to his voice. He watched Ben turn and walk away, relieved to be dismissed, before turning his gaze back to his fist. He couldn't understand why people had so much trouble following simple directions. Why couldn't the damn boy just make some money and be happy? Yes, maybe Thanos had been a little hard on him, but Loki wouldn't have listened otherwise. Thanos scowled and clenched his fist. He abruptly raised it and slammed it down on the desk, making a loud bang. He stood from his chair and left the room. He made his way to the basement in a haze of anger, without specific plans or intentions. He stopped in front of the door to the basement, taking a breath to calm himself and smoothing his hair back. He needed to remain calm as long as possible, or he might just kill them both. _Where would the fun be in that?_ He thought, before turning the knob and descending the stairs.

Ben stood over Tony's sleeping form. He had turned the light on, but it left the corners of the room still in shadow, and the closet door remained closed. Ben was looking at Thanos apprehensively, waiting for a command. Thanos nodded at the closet where Loki was hidden. As Ben moved to the door, Thanos wandered to Tony's side, and placed his foot on Tony's chest, slowly adding pressure. Tony groaned, then coughed and woke up suddenly.

"What the-" Tony sputtered and coughed again. Thanos pressed harder on his chest, leaning on him now. Tony was struggling to breath. Ben had dragged Loki out of the closet, but Loki was refusing to move. He was huddled on the floor, his hair covering his face. Thanos looked at Loki for a moment, before turning back to Tony. He lifted his foot, waiting for a reaction. Tony gasped in air and coughed before catching his breath.

"Ow! What the FUCK man? Jesus." Tony shouted, rubbing his chest, but being careful not to move his hurt leg. Loki looked up at the sound of Tony's voice. Thanos smiled down at him.

"Good morning, starshine." Thanos said, placing weight back on the foot on Tony's chest. "Ben, I don't think these two boys are going to cause me any trouble, be a dear and wait upstairs, won't you?" Thanos said in a sweet-as-sugar tone. Ben climbed the stairs, leaving the two injured men alone with the angry psychopath. Loki was looking confused, struggling to understand what Tony was doing there. He wanted to talk to him, but he couldn't find the energy to speak. Even holding his head up and focusing his gaze was causing him pain and draining him. "Loki, how are you feeling after our little chat yesterday?" Thanos asked him. Loki didn't respond. Thanos turned to Tony next, but continued speaking to Loki. "Seeing as you decided you were done working for me, I had to go hire some new help. Unfortunate, yes, but your decision." Thanos said, pressing hard on Tony's chest briefly, causing him to gasp and cough again.

"Stop." Said Loki weakly. Thanos repeated his action. "Stop." Loki said, a little louder. Thanos paused, and laughed lightly.

"Oh, now you're paying attention. You see, I didn't think I was being unfair to you. I think I gave you a very desirable opportunity. I gave you a motherfucking job! You didn't even have to ask, and I employed you. Additionally, you signed a contract. You signed a binding contract, agreeing to work with me as long as I deemed fit. By severing this relationship, you voided that contract. By voiding that contract, you nullified my agreement to protect you. You see? Do you see the mistake you've made? Not only do I have no obligation to help you, I am now also incredibly pissed off, and it's all because of you!" Thanos shouted, starting to pace around the room in his anger. Tony groaned and turned on his side, trying to ease the pain in his chest. Loki looked over, breathing in relief that Tony was okay for the moment. He turned to face Thanos, trying to sit up. He ended up leaning his shoulders against the wall, slouching, but upright enough to watch Thanos pace. Loki followed the tall man with his eyes.

"You were protecting me?" Loki said. Tony was suddenly still, Loki's voice catching his attention. "You call having your henchmen beat me up, and raping me yourself, protecting me?" Loki's voice was gaining volume as his anger surfaced. "You thought that was PROTECTING ME?! Are you FUCKING kidding me?" Tony's eyes widened at Loki's words. _He didn't mention that!_ Tony thought, but Loki continued. "I'm sorry, but if that was in the contract I signed, without being given the time to read it, then I'm pretty sure you're the one that voided the contract. It wasn't a job, it was a fucking slave contract. Employment indicates that I was given a choice. I'm pretty sure kidnapping me and breaking my bones does not count as just repercussions for my refusing your 'offer'. So please, tell me more about how unreasonable I'm being, you whiny cunt!" Loki was panting from the exertion and the pain by the time he finished. Tony's eyes were glued to Loki's face, and his concern was almost palpable across the room.

For his part, Thanos had stopped pacing and was listening to Loki with a look of bored disdain. He reached behind his back and pulled out a gun. Loki didn't flinch, but Tony shouted in fear and surprise.

"Woah! Fuck, man! Chill, you don't have to do this!" Tony yelled, raising a hand to Thanos, trying to talk him down. He glanced at Loki, but Loki's eyes were closed as he focused on breathing. Thanos, however, had aimed the gun at Loki and was staring at him intently. Tony decided to take action. Pulling his good leg towards his chest and bracing himself on it, he prepared to launch himself at the weapon. He didn't know what else to do, but get between Loki and that madman. Before he could jump, Thanos turned the gun on him instead.

"You want me to chill? Oh, I'm very chill. You see, I've already come up with a solution. You, my dear boy, are going to pick up your friend's slack. Now, we appreciate the down payment you brought with you, and your promptness is also duly noted. Since that small amount seemed to be so easy for you to obtain, we're going to test just how hard you're willing to work. And, as payment for your efforts, I'll keep my men, and myself, from killing this wretch." He gestured to Loki with a look of disgust. Tony gulped. "BEN!" Thanos shouted up the stairs. Ben quickly appeared in the basement. Thanos leaned in to whisper instructions to his associate, and then stood back. Ben hurried to bring Loki up the stairs.

"Wait, where are you taking him? Don't you touch him, you sick bastard! Leave him alone!" Tony shouted, but Thanos just laughed at Tony's useless protests. Before Tony could stand to try to follow, Thanos leveled the gun at his face. He proceeded to give Tony specific instructions, detailing what he wanted. He gave him a sum of money, and a location to meet in 48 hours' time. He then listed off a series of nasty threats against Loki, should Tony fail, or contact the police, or involve anyone else. Tony was speechless for once. Thanos grabbed something from a shadowy corner of the basement, and tossed it on the floor next to Tony, before following Ben and Loki up the stairs.

Tony listened carefully, hearing the footsteps of two men and the dragging sounds (he assumed they were Loki's feet) leave the house. Then he heard the distant roar of an engine starting up outside, and driving away. After a few minutes spent in shock, Tony turned to see what Thanos had given him. A cane. Thanos expected him to climb those stairs, on a shot up leg, with a cane? Tony sighed, and thought of the fear, panic, and anger on Loki's face. His resolve was hardened. He was going to get the money, and he was going to show up at the meeting place, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let Thanos walk away from this. He needed a plan. But first, he needed to get back to his car.

He slowly lifted himself from the floor, flinching at each movement. Eventually, he found himself standing at the bottom of the stairs. With a lot of swearing, and leaning heavily on the cane Thanos had so graciously provided, Tony finally made it up the stairs and out the front door of the house. He didn't have any idea what time it was, but it must have been late, because it was dark out, and there was no movement on the street. He gratefully realized this was the same house where he had driven, which meant his car was still within reach. That was good, because they had taken his cell. Tony shuffled slowly to his car and climbed in. He was breathing deeply and waiting for the worst of the pain in his leg to pass when he realized the car had been unlocked, because they had also taken his keys. He started looking around the car for them. He checked above the visor, under the seats, and found them next to a phone that wasn't his in the glove compartment. He pulled them out and looked over the phone. It was an older phone, definitely not one Tony would have picked out. He flicked it open. _I fucking hate flip phones._ There was a message waiting.

'**$100,000. 48 hours. 47 Alpine Lane.' **

That was all it said. Tony closed the phone and tossed it aside, starting the car. He debated for a moment before driving off. First things first, if he was going on a rescue mission, he needed to get his leg taken care of.


	12. Chapter 12

hello darlings! i apologize to those of you who were waiting for this update, i know it was a long delay. i don't have an excuse, i just didn't know what to write. when my mind started creating plots for new stories, i knew i had to suck it up and sit down and write. hopefully my writing didn't suffer because of it. i love you all for reading, please review!

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Tony left the hospital with his leg wrapped in an excessive amount of bandages and on crutches. He hated hospitals, for the smell, but also because the ridiculous amount of time they will spend on paperwork, no matter what you go in for. It wasn't comforting, and it didn't make him feel better. They had also given him some impressive painkillers that he would be to enjoy later, when he got Loki back. For now, he needed a clear head.

There were two things he knew for sure: 1) Thanos was never going to let Loki go willingly while he was alive, and 2) Tony was not going to let his friend die at the hands of this psychopath. It was time to recruit some help. Tony considered calling Thor, but Thor would want to call the police, and Tony didn't have the patience to do it their way, nor could he risk Thanos finding out. He figured he was being watched, so he had to play it safe. The only person he could think of that would be able to pull off a dangerous rescue mission was the mysterious Natasha. She had a shady past, that much Tony knew, and she could be downright scary if you got on her bad side. He went back to his room and opened his laptop to contact her. Thanos had not returned Tony's cell phone to him, and he figured they were tracking the phone they had given him, but he hoped they wouldn't have broken through Tony's personal anti-hacker software on his computer, so he decided to contact her that way. He silently thanked whoever was listening that she was online. He sent her a quick IM saying, '_Loki's in trouble, I need your help. Get to my room, and act casual, it may be being watched.' _ She replied quickly, telling him she was on her way. Tony quickly erased the exchange just in case (no, he was not becoming paranoid) and closed his computer.

Tony was sitting motionless on his floor when there was a swift knock on his door. He scrambled to his feet, and let Natasha in. She entered quickly and closed the door.

"Tony, I will help you, but first you have to tell me everything that's going on. And I mean everything. If you're not honest with me, I might just make things worse." He nodded in response, and gestured for her to sit on his chair. He sat on the edge of the bed, but he was too tense to sit still. As he started talking, he found himself becoming more and more angry at Thanos and his cronies, but also at himself, for letting this situation devolve into chaos. He was pacing, and he could feel his story turning into a rant, but Natasha just listened without interruption. Her level of calm was actually disturbing to Tony. When he finished, he took a deep breath, recovering from the release of tension that had been building. He was surprised at himself, at his outburst, but Natasha took in stride.

"So you know Thanos isn't going to let Loki live." She stated. Tony closed his eyes in panic at the thought, but nodded.

"And you want me to help you rescue him, because you don't trust the police." Tony tensed. He had hoped she would understand, that she would see his reasoning and help. Before he could open his mouth to explain again why he had to do this, she just nodded and simply said, "Okay, I'm in." Tony sighed in relief and lowered himself to the floor. He suddenly felt like this was possible, like they might make it out of this alive, Tony and Loki.

They spent the next hour discussing options and planning attack methods. It was mostly arguing, but in the end Tony bowed to Natasha's expertise, she had a lot of fight training, and Tony knew she would have a better chance of predicting the best attack points and such. What Tony didn't realize until now was how much Natasha enjoyed this sort of thing. He knew she had a lot of training in martial arts and kick boxing, but she seemed to come alive, she was almost excited when talking about strategies and attack plans. To be honest, it was quite intimidating to him, but Tony was just grateful that she was on his side. He made a mental note never to seriously piss her off.

After they finished their preliminary plan, they were figuring out what supplies they would need to carry out this maneuver. Tony was worrying about how they were going to get their hands on the necessary weapons, but Natasha just smirked.

"Don't worry, between Clint and I, we'll have it covered." That did not ease Tony's mind.

"Nat, I don't know if it's a good idea to get someone else involved, I know we could use the backup, but I don't know how closely the thugs are watching me, and Clint's not that close with Loki, I mean, would he even want to be part of this?"

"Trust me Tony, you want him in on this. It's risky, but it would be riskier without him." Once again, Tony was forced to submit to her judgment. After going over the plan a few more times to solidify it, Natasha departed to go inform Clint about his plans for the evening, and Tony was left to go collect the funds. It wasn't going to be as simple, because a sum of money this large, he had to go through his father. And he was hoping his father hadn't discovered the small amount Tony had already taken, or that would only make things worse. But Tony couldn't sit around and wait, so he headed to Stark Mansion to get it over with.

When he arrived, Jarvis greeted him at the door. Tony was rarely ever home any more, so Jarvis questioned the reason for his visit. Also, why Tony was on crutches.

"Nothing to worry about Jarvis, just a little lab accident. Hey, where's dear old Dad? I need to have a little chat with him." Jarvis directed him to the office on the second floor. Jarvis escorted him to the elevator, but Tony refused his help, saying he didn't need a babysitter in his own house.

"Very well, sir. Just be aware that Mr. Stark is in a foul mood today, so I advise you to be on your best behavior." Tony grumbled. He already had one failed father, he didn't need a second father figure to tell him what to do. When he reached the second floor, he headed straight for the office door, and knocked before he could second guess himself. As soon as the man inside beckoned him in, he knew why Jarvis had warned him. The man was incredibly drunk, enough to be slurring his words. Not usually a good sign, but Tony quickly considered as he entered the room, that this could be used to his advantage, if he played it right.

"Well, if it isn't my little protégé. What brings you to see me today?" His father slurred.

"Hi Dad, yeah. Good to see you too. Listen, I have something important that I need to talk to you about." Tony limped over to the couch, playing up his wounds a bit, and sat down, carefully arranging his crutches next to him.

"Oh, what happened? That big mouth get you in trouble? You always did know how to piss people off."

"No, actually, this was a little accident I had in the lab." Tony's mind was buzzing, debating about which way was best to go about asking for money. He decided to go the obvious route. "And unfortunately I damaged some lab equipment in the process. Dad, I need to borrow some money-" Tony was interrupted by a loud laugh.

"Borrow? You say borrow, but I don't think you know the meaning of the word. You ungrateful little shit. Do you even know how much money I give to that university every year? Do you ever say 'thanks' for all the things I've given you? No, all you do is take. And you come in here, with the gall to ask for more." This was going bad quickly, Tony had to do something to salvage it.

"Dad, this is important to me, listen, I'll do better in school, I'll even start an internship at the company this summer, I just need you to do this for me right now, please." Tony had never begged his father for anything, not since he could remember, and it was that 'please' that caught his father off-guard. Taking advantage of his father's confusion and silence, Tony pressed on.

"I know I haven't been the best son, but this accident has taught me a lesson, and I'll change, really, I'll start pulling my weight, but I need to fix this mess I made first." Tony was blending in a little truth to make his plea sound more believable, something that Loki had taught him. Loki had always been good at lying, and Tony was painfully reminded about who he was here for. Thankfully, his father seemed to be reaching the sleepy stage of drunkenness, so he just waved Tony off with a 'fine, whatever', and sent him away. Before he could pass out, Tony had him send a message to the bank, authorizing Tony to get the money he needed. Then Tony helped him to bed, something he hadn't done in years.

By this time, Tony was exhausted and just wanted to lie down and sleep. Also the pain medication they had given him at the hospital had completely worn off and his leg was absolutely throbbing. Tony sighed and pulled out the phone to check for messages, nothing. Tony was paranoid they would change the plan somehow, and he wouldn't be able to coordinate with Natasha in time. His anxiety gave him the energy to go over to Natasha's room to review their strategy one final time before heading to the drop off point. When he got there, Natasha and Clint were already waiting with everything ready to go. For his part, Clint looked genuinely excited.

"This is gonna be great, it'll be like a movie, and we're gonna swoop in and take down the bad guys, and rescue the girl, or guy in this case." Clint explained. When Tony scowled at his enthusiasm, Clint just shrugged it off.

"Tony, don't worry, we've got this." Natasha soothed, trying to keep Tony from panicking. "Clint and I are really good at this kind of thing, you know that. And between the three of us, no matter what happens, we will get Loki out. Alive."

Despite Clint's excitement, and Natasha's aggravatingly calm assurance of their success, Tony was still growing more and more nervous as the hour of the exchange approached.

Eventually he couldn't sit still anymore, and they headed to the site separately to get ready. Clint and Natasha took Natasha's car, and followed far behind Tony, to see if he was being tailed, and to make sure they weren't spotted if he was. The address Tony had been given was a small park, basically just a green space covering a few square blocks with trees spread across it. It was well after dark when he arrived, and there were no other cars in the parking lot. The whole neighborhood was poorly lit, making it an ideal place to do this sort of thing. Anything could happen between the trees in this park and someone walking or driving by would never even see it. Tony tried to suppress the disturbing images that were drifting into his mind. The anxiety had settled in his stomach by this time, and being away from Clint's cocky confidence and Natasha's calm certainty was making Tony start to edge towards panic. He still had an hour before the scheduled meeting time, and he was starting to wonder whether he should wait in the car or if they would want to meet deeper in the park, where there was even less light. Figuring the trees would give a little extra cover for his backup, he climbed from his car and started making his way into the trees. He didn't want to go too far so that Thanos would still be able to see him, so he only went as far as the first bench he found, which was only a few yards away, but it was enough. Once he was seated, Tony focused on his breathing, trying to remind himself of the plan. The last thing he needed was to lose his head at the worst moment.

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ps, if you guys could do me a favor, i'm insecure about my writing style. if you would please share your criticisms, i would greatly appreciate it. (things like, too wordy, not enough dialogue, too descriptive, that sort of thing, and the more detailed you can be the better! i sincerely thank you for reading, and if you take the time to do this you are my personal hero)


	13. Chapter 13

Hi guys! I'm really sorry if you thought I'd abandoned this story, I swear it wasn't intentional. I was talking to a friend the other day and we were lamenting the pain of fics that never update, and I realized that there might be like 1 or 2 people who actually do want to read my writing, even if I'm not one of them. To you few people who follow this story: I formally apologize. I'm a bad person. I don't have a good excuse, I just let my depression get the best of me sometimes. Good thing I have Marvel movies like the excellent Iron Man 3 to distract me ;)

Anyway, enough of my pathetic apology, let's get on with it! Big chapter here, my first real attempt at any sort of action scene, though it turned into angst anyway. Seems to be the only thing I know how to write. I hope you guys like it, and please review! It brings the brightest smile to my face when anyone leaves a review, even if it's a critique, so please take a minute to share your thoughts with me! (Especially if those thoughts are on IM3, what did you guys think?)

Thanks and thanks again, darlings! Much love and adoration to you all!

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Tony was anxiously waiting on the bench for over an hour before anything happened. It was possibly the longest hour of his life. He fidgeted constantly, running his hand over the taser Natasha had lent him, which he was holding onto for the opportune moment. Every time a car drove past, he would tense and wait for it to pull into the parking lot. He silently wished he had some way to know that Natasha and Clint were in place and waiting, but there was no safe way to communicate. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a black SUV pulled into the parking lot, stopping near Tony's vehicle. Tony froze, waiting for someone to exit and approach. He was hit with waves of fear and uncertainty, doubting his plan and himself. Thanos might have already killed Loki, or Natasha and Clint might have fallen asleep during the long wait, and what if his hands were shaking too badly to use the weapon in his pocket? All these thoughts and more piled into his head at once, so he barely noticed when one of the doors on the black car opened, and the familiar figure of Ben stepped out. Tony looked up as Thanos stepped out from the back door, then turned to pull a smaller, slumped form out after him. Tony stood quickly, resisting the urge to just run in and grab Loki. _Stick to the plan, the plan WILL work._ Tony reminded himself. _Deep breaths._

Ben, Thanos, and the stumbling Loki slowly approach Tony's spot. Once they were standing in front of the short man, Loki held behind Thanos, he spoke.

"I see you showed up, coward." Tony bristled at the insult, but refused to say anything. "Do you have my money?" Thanos asked.

"Yes." Tony answered, as petulantly as possible. Loki didn't react to anything that was happening around him. He was leaning heavily on Ben to stand. _At least he seems to be conscious,_ Tony thought.

"And? Where is it?" Thanos snapped, seriously lacking in patience after dealing with these adolescent nightmares all day. Tony silently offered the backpack he had carried on his shoulder. Thanos snatched it from him, and opened it, passing it to Ben to examine the contents. Ben awkwardly shifted his grip on Loki to free up a hand to take the bag.

While Ben was distracted examining the contents, Tony saw his opportunity. He pulled out the taser and lunged at Thanos. He felt the weapon connect with Thanos' stomach, and he saw Ben get hit with one of Clint's tranquilizer darts (Tony had no idea why he had them, but he was grateful for them at that moment), and for a split second, he thought it was going to work. In the end, they had decided to go for the simplest strategy. Distract, attack, and disarm. Or knock unconscious, as was the case. Unfortunately, Tony didn't think to plan for Thanos to be wearing any sort of protective body armor. He didn't wait for Thanos to go down before he was rushing to Loki's side, so he didn't notice that Thanos was not affected by his taser strike.

Natasha did, however. She just wasn't fast enough. She ran from her hiding spot as soon as Tony pulled the taser, just in case. She saw Tony turn from Thanos to Loki, and Thanos turned to face the pair while reaching into his coat pocket. He was facing away from her at that point, and she was running at full tilt, but it wasn't enough. She couldn't see the gun that the man had pointed at her friends, but she heard the shots ring out loud and clear. She saw the muzzle blast illuminate his silhouette, looking like a villain from a movie. She reached him just after the second shot, tackling him to the ground. All of her self-defense training kicked in, and the adrenaline gave her the strength to wrestle the gun from his hand. He almost threw her off, but Clint came up with a second tranquilizer dart and helped her sedate him. They were so distracted by the fight they didn't see the police lights approach. They failed to hear the sirens. They didn't hear Thor calling his brother's name as he ran towards them. They focused in time to see Thor collapse next to Tony and Loki, who were both covered in blood and unmoving. Time seemed to stand still for the three friends. They were frozen as the police came and surveyed the damage. The paramedics followed shortly after, quickly moving the two gun shot victims to stretchers and loading them into the ambulances. They were still in shock, and only Clint could answer any of the questions the officers directed at them. Thor was sobbing uncontrollably, and Natasha was resting her hand on his shoulder, staring numbly into the distance. _How could things have gone so wrong?_ She wondered. But she knew, they had been foolish to rush into this situation. Thor was smart enough to know they couldn't handle it. If he hadn't brought the authorities when he did, Tony and Loki would have certainly died, bleeding out there on the ground. As it was, she didn't know whether they would survive, but at least they had a chance. _They have to have a chance. It's not fair, they can't die like this_.

As if reading her mind, Clint came over and assured her it wasn't her fault. It did little to comfort her. She would regret her actions that day for the rest of her life.

~Some time later; in the hospital~

Loki drifted back to consciousness slowly. The closer he came to wakefulness, the more pain he was in. First, he felt the throbbing in his chest. It seemed like there was a giant foreign object piercing through his ribcage. Then the throbbing spread to his head, and his limbs. He tried to open his eyes, but they were unresponsive. He tried to say something, to see if anyone was with him, but all that came out was a pained gasp. He felt someone grasp his hand, and Thor's deep tones, but couldn't distinguish any words. If Thor was there, that meant he wasn't with Thanos any more. But where was Tony? He gripped Thor's hand, trying to speak again, but he could suddenly feel the heavy plastic mask over his face. He went to reach and pull it away, but the hand Thor wasn't gripping was covered in a heavy cast, and he couldn't lift it. He shook his head slowly, and Thor carefully lifted the plastic away. Loki gasped at the cold air hitting his throat. The shock made him open his eyes, but it was several moments before he could focus. Thor was still speaking, so he tried to focus to decipher the words.

"…finally awake, it's so good to see you move again. You were so still when I came in, I thought you were gone." Thor's face was red and swollen, he had obviously been crying. "Loki, I'm so sorry. I should have protected you. I should have been there. I'm so sorry this happened, and I don't know how I'm ever going to make this right. I promised, I swore to you I would always be there, and I wasn't, I-" Thor seemed to choke on the words, and fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. He was talking much quieter than usual, for which Loki was grateful, but he seemed to be compensating by using an enormous amount of words, not his usual brevity.

Loki closed his eyes against the sight of his older brother crying, which was more painful to watch than he would have thought, and tried to speak again. Once again he only managed a slight rasp, but Thor quickly grabbed a glass of water from nearby, and held the straw sitting in it to Loki's lips. Loki drank slowly, feeling as though all of his muscles had delayed reactions. After a moment Thor pulled away, reminding Loki to move slowly. Loki looked at him. He had never seen Thor so vulnerable.

"What happened?" Loki whispered. He couldn't remember much, and he needed to know where Tony was. Thor launched into the story of Tony discovering that Tony was missing, and all the heroic (if stupid) things Tony had done to rescue him. Natasha had been able to fill in the blanks where Tony had failed to tell Thor the whole truth, and Thor now knew almost everything. He ended at the park where he found Loki, shot and dying, on the ground.

"So the paramedics brought you here, the university hospital, obviously. You had to have surgery on your chest, and you have some broken bones, but you're going to be ok. You've been here since yesterday morning, so almost a day and a half. Mother was here most of the day, but she went home to be with Father. He couldn't leave his work at such short notice, but I'm sure he'll visit as soon as he can. You're probably going to be here a while." Loki interrupted with a scoff, sincerely doubting that his apathetic father would willingly visit him. Odin had practically disowned Loki when he had entered rehab. If he came to visit, it would be only because Frigga dragged him. But there was one person he cared about more than his disappointing father.

"What happened to Tony? He was at the park, is he ok?" Loki asked, his voice shaking. Thor gave him another drink of water, and the sad look in his eyes was sending Loki into a mild panic. He gripped Thor's hand tightly, begging, "tell me, now." Thor nodded, and told Loki that Tony had been shot also. Loki gasped, and felt another pain shoot through his chest. Where he had felt something sitting in his chest when he woke up, he now felt hollow. His eyes blurred, and he didn't realize he was crying until Thor wiped the tears away using the bed sheet.

"He's not dead, Loki, let me explain, please calm down!" Thor spoke quickly, standing now. He was holding the sheet with one hand, resting the other on Loki's thin shoulder, unsure how to comfort the panicking injured teen. The increase in Loki's heartrate had attracted the nurses' attention, and two people in scrub uniforms came rushing in, pushing Thor aside to check Loki. He stared blankly ahead while they checked him over, but he was deaf to their questions. Thor answered for him, telling them that he was awake and aware, just upset. Eventually, Loki's heart slowed and he was breathing at a slow enough rate that they left, and Thor immediately returned to his side, and started to explain before Loki could panic again.

"He was also shot, yes, but he also survived. He was brought here same as you, but his wound was slightly worse. He didn't have the rest of the injuries that you have though, so they thought he was in better condition. They stabilized him and put him in a room, doing your surgery first. They were short on staff or something, I don't know, but they wanted to take care of you first, so they delayed his surgery, anyway" Thor was rambling, trying to explain without making Loki feel guilty, and failing miserably. He watched as the sadness and regret settled in Loki's expression, visible even through the bruises. "So when they got to him they realized there was serious internal damage, and they did the best they could, but Tony suffered severe trauma, and they're afraid he might be in a coma. That's all they told me, and they won't tell us more until Tony's father gets here." Thor finished, watching the damage his words did to his little brother's psyche.

He didn't need to tell Loki that Howard Stark was refusing to come to the hospital. He wouldn't leave his work, even if his son had almost died, and was still in critical condition, just to sign paperwork. He was doing everything he could to avoid stepping foot in the building at all. Which means that Thor had to find out what was happening with Tony by talking to the nurses. Fortunately, they all had a soft spot for the poor victimized boys, and the protective older brother who barely left Loki's side. There was still only so much he could find out, and he was afraid to share all of that with Loki

Loki didn't speak, didn't move. He couldn't. It was entirely his fault, and he knew it. He knew it from the beginning, he was putting his friends at risk by even talking to them. If they hadn't been so determined to fix his 'problem', he could have continued ignoring them, and this wouldn't have ended so messily. He should have kept Tony from getting involved. He should have stopped Thanos. He should have done a lot of things, to keep anyone else from getting hurt. Now, not only was Tony shot (twice, counting the first time in his leg) because of him, but also in a coma, which Loki knew was just their way of saying he might never wake up, because the stupid doctors had thought the skinny pathetic drug addict was in more danger. He wished he could have been awake in the ambulance, to explain to the doctors why Tony was more important, more valuable. Why they needed to fix the Tony first. Loki didn't deserve to be fixed at all. This was all because of him. He just caused problems, no matter what he did. He didn't seem to be of any benefit at all to any one around him. Thanos had known that, and understood. He had used Loki, yes, but only because Loki was completely hopeless, and he didn't deserve to have real friends.

These self destructive thoughts were still running through Loki's mind when the staff finally had to ask Thor to leave, and they gave Loki some impressive painkillers to help him sleep. He couldn't bring himself to care if he slept. He didn't care if he was in pain. Tony had almost died, and might never be the same again, and even though it was Loki's problem, Tony was suffering. There was nothing he could do, and Loki truly understood what it meant to feel hopeless.


	14. Chapter 14

Hi friends! I love you all, I really do. If you don't believe me, this chapter probably isnt' going to help. Here we have the first scene without Loki or Tony in it. And I'm sorry. The drama just never ends in Loki's world. And Tony will be coming back next chapter, so please bear with me! I hope to keep updating regularly, and more reviews means faster chapter updates! As much as I'm writing this for fun, I'm also writing it for you guys, and as always feedback, suggestions, support, and criticisms are always welcome!

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The next few days were all the same. Thor was constantly at Loki's side, and he would watch TV, occasionally commenting on something funny or interesting to his younger brother. Loki just sat silently, staring into space. He refused to eat, and only moved when parts of his body went numb. He couldn't bring himself to care what happened to him, as long as Tony was in trouble. Thor hadn't been able to visit Tony, but he had been able to find out that Tony's condition continued to improve, if only slightly. The nurses were telling him that although he was still in a coma, he was showing signs of improvement and recovering well from his injuries. Thor relayed all the information he dared to Loki, but continued to be ignored.

Loki even refused to respond when his mother came to visit. She came and sat by his bed for a few hours every day, just talking to him. She even brought Odin with her one day. He didn't say anything, just sat quietly next to her. Loki continued to stare blankly at the wall. He couldn't even be bothered to care.

Eventually, Loki's stonewalling wore down Thor's patience. He was worried about Loki, but he didn't get any reaction when he voiced his concerns. He even broke down to tears once or twice, just trying to get Loki to look at him, but nothing happened. After five straight days of this nearly-catatonic state, the doctors had started adding things to his IV, because he wasn't eating. They were worried, too. On the sixth day, they sent in a therapist to talk to him. Thor left, which caused Loki to blink and look up. It was something, anyway. Once the therapist started talking, droning on and on about his mental state and post-traumatic something-or-other, Loki tuned him out and stared out the window. Despite Loki's refusal to cooperate, the therapist continued to visit for an hour everyday. And everyday, she would leave frustrated and concerned.

This continued on for another week. Loki had been in the hospital for 15 days, and his condition was no longer improving. His wounds were healing, yes. But his self-deprivation strategy was slowing the process. The therapist told the doctors that there was nothing more he could do, this case was beyond his expertise. They were bringing in a specialist, Thor had told him. It didn't matter to Loki, nothing he did or didn't do was going to make Tony get better. He'd made so many mistakes, and it seemed all he could do was cause others grief. So he refused to do anything. Even that, it seemed, was causing everyone around him to get upset.

"Enough of this! This is insanity, this is madness!" Thor was shouting at Loki one afternoon, when Thor had been talking about how the doctors might let Loki come home soon. There had been no reaction, as usual. "You can't go on like this, Loki! Don't you see that it's over, you're going to be ok? Look at me! You're going to be fine, Loki!" Thor gripped Loki's shoulders in a tight grip, causing the weakened boy to flinch. Thor didn't let go, he was too incensed by his brother's abhorrent behavior. "You have to try, Loki! I care about you too much to let you do this to yourself. I'm not going to sit here and watch you waste away, I can't…" Thor let go and collapsed into the chair, his little outburst having brought him to the verge of tears. He was exhausted. He spent all day everyday at the hospital with Loki, refusing to leave or even nap in case Loki moved or spoke. He was having trouble sleeping at night, because he was so worried about his younger brother. He was tired, tired of Loki's behavior, tired of this room, and tired of trying. Without another word, he got up and left. Loki simply sighed and closed his eyes, resting against his pillow. At least if Thor gave up, then Loki wouldn't have to feel any guilt for giving up, too. He didn't see that there was any other choice, now.

~Later that day~

Thor arrived home to find his parents arguing heatedly.

"He needs to know, Frigga!" Thor heard Odin shout from his office. The door was open, but Thor lingered back, waiting to hear what they were discussing.

"I know that, but is now really the best time?" Frigga was upset, Thor could tell from the shaking in her voice.

"I've waited too long already, and he's disgraced this family, embarrassed us!" Odin was still shouting.

"He's made some mistakes, yes, but he's still your family! You can't take back the decision to take him in, he's ours, and he always will be!" Frigga shouted now, determination strong in her voice. Thor had thought they were talking about Loki, but their words weren't making any sense.

"No, I can't take back all the time and money I've wasted on him, but it stops now. I've done enough for him, and he continuously behaves ungratefully. I'm done. Tomorrow, I'm going to tell him the truth, and that's it." Thor could hear the finality in Odin's tone, but before he could react, Frigga was rushing out of the office, running straight into Thor.

"Oh! Thor!" Frigga spoke, surprised to see him home early. "Did something happen? Why aren't you at the hospital with your –" She paused, swallowing, "brother?" Thor just looked at her, confused. He didn't fully understand everything he had heard, but he was beginning to suspect the truth, and he just couldn't believe it. He loved his parents, he really did, but to keep something like this from him, from Loki? He had to be mistaken. They couldn't have been talking about Loki being adopted.

"What are you going to tell him, Mother?" Thor spoke quietly. She sighed, and tears filled her eyes. This was NOT the way she had intended to tell her oldest son.

"Oh Thor, I'm so sorry we've kept this from you." She whispered comfortingly, resting a hand on Thor's shoulder. "Your father and I adopted Loki, after we found him. Your father thinks now is the time to tell him so." She looked down ashamed. "I'm afraid I can't make him see reason. He's just so angry with Loki."

Thor stepped back in shock, trying to comprehend.

"What do you mean, you 'found' him?" Thor asked.

"He was abandoned, Thor. We didn't know what to do, so we took him in."

Thor was overwhelmed, taking in all this information at once. He had always noticed that Loki looked different from him, and he had always been slightly jealous of the fact. Loki could look effortlessly cool, and Thor looked so plain, so typical. But now Thor saw those differences for what they were, marking Loki as not his relative. And Odin was going to tell Loki, tomorrow… this would not end well.

~The next day~

Loki woke up to the sound of harsh whispering in his room. Thor and their mother were discussing him, as usual.

"I won't let you lie to him any more, Mother." Thor spoke more harshly than Loki had ever heard him towards their mother.

"I just don't think now is the best time, he's in a fragile state, with what happened…"

"No, the _best time_ would have been before he started to spiral into a drug habit. It's too late, and I will not cover up for you or Father, not for this. And I will not wait for Father to tell him. I have to do it myself, it will be better this way."

"Thor, please!" Frigga pleaded, before Loki heard Thor's heavy footsteps approach his bedside.

"What is it you're hiding from me?" Loki asked quietly, his voice rough with disuse. Both Thor and Frigga turned to him in shock. Loki ignored their overreaction, waiting for them to respond.

"Loki, darling, it's so good to hear your voice again!" Frigga rushed over to embrace him, but Loki held a hand up to stop her. Instead of asking her, he turned to Thor, knowing his brother, whom he had always trusted, would tell him what they had been arguing so heatedly about. Clearly, it was something their parents thought was worth hiding. Not one to let his brother down, Thor spoke.

"Loki, I have to tell you something, but before I do, I need you to promise that it won't change anything." Thor paused, waiting for Loki to respond. He did not. "It's pretty important, but just know that you _are _my brother, no matter what, and I will always be here for you. I swear." Thor sat down across from where Frigga was standing at Loki's side, and leaned forward to rest his elbows against Loki's bed, letting his head fall into his hands. "I can't believe what I'm about to tell you, Loki, but I just found out yesterday that you're…" he took a deep breath "adopted." Thor's voice broke on the last word, but Loki didn't notice. His brain was still trying to absorb the last word, to comprehend what it meant to him, how could this be possible…? He sat in silence for a long time as the pieces fell into place, slowly at first. How he looked so different, how Odin had so clearly favored Thor, everything. Once he started looking for them, the signs started becoming so clear. With each breath, he felt a hollow forming in his chest. It wasn't breaking, it wasn't pounding, it was simply fading away. He felt empty. His family, the people he had relied on, loved, trusted, were lies. He had no rightful claim to them. He had no one.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear Frigga's rambling apologies or Thor's pleas for him to speak. He was so absorbed in his own pain, he didn't notice when Odin entered the room, and Frigga immediately started castigating him. Thor placed a hand on Loki's arm, trying to comfort him, while he sat and watched their parents argue. Except, they weren't Loki's parents. And this wasn't his brother. He had no relation, no connection to these people. He certainly had no obligation to them.

"Enough!" Loki screamed, shutting his eyes. He needed _space_, couldn't they see that? "Get out, get out, all of you, out!" He shouted at them. Frigga pulled Odin out of the room, but Thor didn't move.

"Brother, please. I know it's hard to understand why they did it, but I still feel the same about you. We've still grown up together, you're still my little brother, Loki, please try to understand-"

"Why are you still here?" Loki spat through clenched teeth. "Didn't I ask you to leave?" He opened his eyes to glare at Thor. The veiled threat was enough to convince Thor to exit, though he did so very hesitantly.

Once he was sure they were gone he collapsed. First his own failure, then Tony's injury, now this? It was too much. No one person could handle all of this, especially in such a short amount of time. He refused to deal with any of it. And since he no longer had a family to try to appease with his recovery, he started planning. He knew they would be back soon, but it didn't bother him. He had been ignoring them for weeks, he could handle a few more hours. Once visiting hours were over and they were forced to leave, however, he would be done with his responsibilities. He breathed a small sigh of relief. Giving up was the easiest decision he'd made in months, and the response, the stress of living, of having responsibility, was immediately lightened.


	15. Chapter 15

Hello darling readers! Ok, so I was going to leave out Tony's arc reactor, but as per Helca Maica's idea, I've included it. I know it's a stretch, but whatever. If you haven't figured it out by now, I know nothing about medicine, so there are sure to be plenty of inaccuracies in this chapter, and for that I'm sorry. I can only hope that it's coherent enough to make sense.

I also want to let you know that there will be Tony/Loki fluff at some point, but not in this chapter. So if that's what you're waiting for, you'll be waiting a bit longer.

Warning for this chapter: Graphic depictions of Self Harm/Attempted Suicide! If this will affect you negatively, DO NOT READ THIS!

I'm sorry for the feels in this chapter. I really am.

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Thor glanced up from his magazine, hearing a commotion down the hall. It took a few moments to process what he was seeing, but by the time he realized the doctors were rushing into tony's room, he was already out of his chair outside of Loki's room, where he'd been holding a vigil for the last few hours. He was halfway to the room before he knew he was even moving. By the time he got to the doorway, the room was crowded with hospital staff, rushing about and shouting things Thor didn't understand. Thor waited for one of them to pause long enough to notice him, to tell him what was happening, but they were all too preoccupied with the figure on the bed they were blocking from Thor's view. He was shoved to the side as another doctor rushed in, asking 'What happened?' One of the generic hospital workers said the words Thor had been wanting so desperately to hear: 'He's awake.'

Once again Thor's feet were carrying him down the hall before his brain had fully processed what was happening. He had been giving Loki time to cool off, to deal, before trying to talk to him again. But this, Loki would want to know this. When Thor bursts through Loki's door, though, Loki's not in his bed. He looked around wildly for a moment before noticing the closed bathroom door. 'I guess it can wait at least a minute.' Thor thought to himself. He moved to sit in one of the chairs, but as he shifted he thought he heard a muffled sob from behind the closed door. It's so quiet, Thor thought he must have imagined it. Before he could get all the way to the chair, he heard it again. A small, soft cry from the bathroom.

"Loki?" Thor called uncertainly, striding over to the door. He opened the door and was shocked by the sight that greeted his eyes. "No!" He shouted, as he fell to his knees, reaching for the broken figure on the floor.

~Tony's POV~

Tony woke up feeling very disoriented. He immediately knew he was in a hospital, by the shark smell of disinfectant and the unpleasant tube shoved down this throat. He coughed a little as he pulled it out, and realized his chest was absolutely throbbing in pain. In fact, it felt like his chest was composed entirely of pain. It hurt everywhere, and it hurt constantly. He reached a hand up to feel the damage and was met with an unfamiliar hardened metal surface, covered in thick layers of gauze.

"Wha…" Tony gasped in confusion, trying to look down. His neck was incredibly stiff, like he'd been asleep for days. His hands scrabbled across his chest, slowly pulling the layers of bandages away. His breath was coming in short pants now, and he knew he was panicking, but there was a metal _thing_ embedded in his chest, goddamnit, that definitely wasn't supposed to happen. He cleared away enough of the bandages to reach the metal itself, and he started trying to pull out because it _hurt_ and he needed to get it _out_- when the hospital staff started flooding in, and they immediately restrained his arms. The room was a flurry of activity for a few seconds of absolute chaos before a doctor who seemed to be in charge of the situation came barging in, asking what happened. 'He's awake.' One of the workers replied, sounding entirely surprised about it. Tony tried to sit up to get a better view of this doctor, but the hands on his arms moved to hold him down just as his chest flared in pain.

He groaned and slumped back in the bed, but the doctor approached the ed and started speaking. He was looking at Tony, but not speaking to him. He was barking orders at one of the other nurses in the room, who rushed off to fetch things, 'hopefully painkillers,' thought Tony, before the doctor's demeanor changed entirely.

"Tony," he said in a much softer tone of voice, like one might use with a frightened child. Tony was irritated of course, and wanted to start asking all the questions that had popped into his head upon waking up to find a foreign object attached to his fucking body, he wanted to demand an explanation, but all that came out of his mouth was another pained cough. His throat was apparently out of commission, for the time being. Luckily for him the doctor launched directly into a long, boring explanation, most of which Tony glossed over. He was a little ticked off at the doctor's tone, which when he wasn't talking to Tony like a child, sounded like he was expounding on a fascinating new science project. Tony was _not _an experiment. Though the doctor seemed to think he was. He was explaining how Tony's trauma had been so severe, they couldn't open his chest to remove the bullet fragments without risking permanent damage to his heart. 'So the best alternative was to install a giant metal object in it instead?' Tony thought in exasperation. He was starting to panic again. The doctor just motioned to the newly returned nurse, who administered some drugs to Tony's IV that immediately slowed his heart rate and eased the pain in his chest. The doctor then explained that they had inserted an electromagnet to keep the bullet fragments from moving and causing more damage. It had also served to close the wound, saving Tony from bleeding out. It was meant to be a temporary fix, but by installing a power source, the large metal object now protruding from Tony's chest, they would not have to go in at all, and he could function pretty much normally without having to undergo such a risky procedure.

Tony's focus was fading in and out for most of this description, his fear and confusion battling his scientific curiousity for control. Eventually, the doctor had gotten through all the boring details. Something about 'risks, danger, blah blah blah,' and left. The nurse then gave Tony some more drugs to help him sleep. He of course didn't want to sleep now, how could he even be tired, after having apparently been in a coma for over two weeks? Ridiculous. Nevertheless, he started to drift into unconsciousness. Just before his thoughts could fade entirely, he remembered something very important, or someone. "Loki…" he managed to groan, as sleep overtook him.

~Loki's POV~

Loki sat in his bed, glancing at his nails and not really thinking about anything. Now that he'd made his decision, the pain and misery that had been his life just didn't seem to matter. He almost regretted not being able to tell Tony how he really felt, not getting a chance to explain why he did what he did, or to beg for forgiveness that Tony had gotten hurt because of his mistakes. Almost. But if he did see Tony, and looked into those big brown eyes he'd so long idealized, if he had to see the painful effects of his own actions, and see the hatred of someone he loved having suffered his betrayal, it would literally be too much. Loki couldn't even imagine how awful it would be to look into Tony's eyes and see those things. So in the end he was glad he didn't have to see Tony and face those things. And there was probably no point in leaving a note explaining these things for someone in a coma. As for his 'family', well his actions could hardly affect them anymore. They would be better off, he was sure.

So despite having one of the most emotionally tumultuous years possible, Loki felt calm. The only real thing he felt was impatience. He wanted to get it over with, but he knew Thor would be back at some point, and the last thing he wanted was to have to see Thor's face when he realized what Loki had done. Then again, Loki never was one for patience, or caring what Thor felt. He decided to expedite his plan a little, at the risk of having Thor try to stop him. A few minutes later, after rummaging around his room for something sharp, he settled on the blade from his pencil sharpener in his backpack that Thor had brought him a few days previously. He closed the door to the bathroom behind himself, silently cursing that there was no way to lock the door. 'Well, I better hurry up then.' He thought, surprisingly devoid of emotion at what he was about to do. He sat on the floor and pressed the blade to his wrist. His hands were shaking. He scoffed at himself, 'nervous?' he thought, 'how stupid. Pointless.' Applying pressure, he started to drag the blade up his arm. The red started seeping from the wound, but not nearly fast enough. He pressed harder, cutting deeper. He flinched at the sharp sting. 'Stupid weakling,' he cursed himself, 'can't even do this right. How embarrassing.' Tears of anger were starting to blur his vision now. He fumbled transferring the blade to his left hand, and dropped it as it was now slick with blood. He tried to wipe the tears from his eyes, to see where the blade had fallen, but more just kept taking their place, along with more blood. There was _so much_ of it now, it was pooling on the floor around him in a sticky mess. He reached down to feel for the blade in the puddle, sobbing in frustration. 'I can't believe I've gone and fucked this up, too!' He sobbed again, unable to contain his anger. The next thing he heard was Thor calling his name. Before he could do anything, the door was opening.

"No!" Thor cried. Loki didn't look up, just closed his eyes in denial. If he didn't see Thor, didn't see the anger and disappointment in those sparkling blue eyes, maybe he wouldn't have to feel the guilt. He sobbed again, searching desperately for his weapon to finish the job. A sudden wave of dizziness caused him to slump over. Before he could hit the floor, now slick with his blood, a pair of strong arms wrapped around him from his side, holding him up.

"Loki, No!" Thor whispered in his ear. Loki weakly struggled against him, but Thor held him tightly as he called for help. Loki just sat there hoping no one would come, that help would be too late. He didn't want to _live_ any more, and he certainly didn't want to survive _this._ He continued to be aware as two nurses came in, helping Thor apply pressure to Loki's wound, causing him to groan in pain. He continued to gaze on in shock and humiliation as they questioned Thor about what happened, and helped Thor lift Loki back on the bed. He wanted to struggle, to yell at them, 'just let me finish it!' But he was suddenly feeling very weak. It wasn't until another scrub-clad hospital worker showed up, with a needle to stitch his arm closed and some strong anesthetic, that Loki finally became blissfully unaware. At least he could avoid the pain and guilt of his failure for a little while longer before he would get the chance to try again.


End file.
